Faith
A path has been worn to my door.
My tired frame cries out for relief
As I sit in my easy chair,
Wincing as the phone rings,
Yet again, for some senseless conversation
Or a well-placed invitation
Formed to entice
The palate.
I ignore the phone
As I have so many times before,
Hoping that the hint going out
From my thought waves
Through the telephone wires
Will discourage you from the relentless
Calls and messages
Left on the answering machine;
Sadly, my prayers many times
Return from your throne room unanswered.
Reluctantly, I bow my will
Oft times to a misplaced sense of guilt,
Hoping to find an opportune moment
To make a speedy getaway to my apartment
And safety….
Afterwards, I want to give myself
A well-deserved kick
For succumbing to your tactics,
Hoping for greater resolve,
And the backbone to
Stand up for my own needs.
The need for solitude is great.
I cry out to You, my Father,
For I am weak.
I try to care for the needs of others,
To the exclusion of my own needs.
I find myself resenting others
For my own inability to say "No."
I have plans for my days that I put on hold;
Plans for learning
And for time that should be
Spent with You.
I am lacking in my will
And am driven in many directions
And very few paths
Are leading me where I long to be.
I know that in Your presence
I will find all that I need
To be truly happy and fulfilled,
But I get caught up
In the desire of the moment,
A fleeting fancy,
Having no divine significance.
I am frustrated at my
Lack of motivation and passion
In seeking Your face,
And find myself shamefully
Negligent in giving You
The first fruits of my days
And first place in my heart-
My Friend, my Beloved.
O Lord, I pray
That You will feed this need in me
For peace and solitude
In Your presence;
Alone, but not lonely,
Rich, and not poor.
May I be content and not driven
To do my own will
Or walk in guilt for standing firm
In the plans You have
For my life and time.
Help me to look to You for that which
Will fill me to overflowing
Health and vitality
Now and forever.
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I relate to this poem so much. I find it hard to say no to people or even to my own selfish desires. All I want is to be in his will and be pleasing to him. Thank you for such a wonderful poem.
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