we must all
good or evil,
to what he has
in the body.
[2 Corinthians 5:10]
Time: Sometime in the near future.
Place: Outside the
Door of the Bema Judgment Room.
and a new friend,
"Is this all I......GET?"
Author, wearing a slipshod angelic caftan
(Size: Extra Large) and a makeshift halo (her
permanent one is on order), is squinting
down into a beige sack-cloth bag; her
big thick glasses are falling
down her nose, as usual. The sack-cloth
bag smells like dust and ashes,
and the dirty litter box of a 6 month
Angel Friedlander squints down in the bag, too. He is about the same size as his new human friend, only his angelic gown has some chocolate-spots on it, and his halo is higher-up
on his head, sparklier, and more permanent-looking.
Angel Friedlander has bright red frizzy hair, and big red frieckles all over his plump face.
"Where'd ya get those Snickers BARS?"
Author squints up at
her new friend; she
reaches up to adjust
her makeshift halo; it's limp
and made of cardboard; it smells
like Elmers Glue, and has sparkly
dots, from Michaels Hobby Lobby,
stuck all over it.
"I got 'em over THERE!"
Friedlander points down the Bema Hall
with a chocolatey finger;
alongside the Bema Judgment Hall cafeteria
is a row of candy, and soda machines.
"I got HUNGRY,
while I was waitin'
"Can I HAVE ONE?"
Author irritably grabs
off her halo, and
stuffs it into her
other caftan pocket;
stuck on the back of
her caftan are two cardboard
wings; they have big ostrich feathers
glued onto them, and smell
like Elmers Glue, also.
Friedlander pulls another chocolate bar
out of his own pocket; his gown is longer,
and his wings are real, but they do smell
of cheese-doodles, and carmel-flavored
Author pulls out a miniature can of Real Coke
from inside her angelic-gauzy-caftan; she was dyin' to pull it out the whole time she was in the Bema Judgment Room. Sighing
with relief, she pops it open, and glances back at the Bema Door, warily; she had asked for a rootbeer soda while sitting on the Bema chair, but as usual got a 'NO'; one of the angels standing by the Bema Judgment Throne had come over and given her an Ozarka bottle of water; the angel was big, really stern-lookin', and didn't resemble the gorgeous Archangel Michael, at all.
Just a lump'a COAL!
And.....a little bag 'a
Author pushes her
big glasses up on her
"WHAT was I SUPPOSED....to GET?"
another Snickers Bar;
this one has almonds.
"Yur' SUPPOSED to
get a big CROWN.... with JEWELS in it!"
Author blows a raspberry; bits of
chocolate land on her
gauzy angelic caftan.
"Yur' KIDDIN' me!"
and points again: this
time down the other
end of the Bema Hall.
to another newly-arrived human;
she is very attractive-looking,
well-poised, and wearing a beautiful
gold crown with diamonds, rubies,
"You're supposed to
get a crown.....like
Author looks down, woefully, into her
goodies-bag, again; she sort'a feels like
Charlie Brown* on Halloween night. She
frowns, and looks around for her shoes;
she had to take them off before going into
the Bema Room.
"So what HAPPENED...
his nose; it's got
big red freckles all
Author scrambles under one of the
golden benches by the Bema Judgment
Room Door, and mutters while she's
looking for her shoes.
just ASKED me...
what I DID with my
down on the golden
bench, and scratches
his left bare big toe;
ever since he had
been assigned to this
frumpy-looking human, he had been
I went to GIRL SCOUT CAMP when
I was EIGHT......
and got 2 MERIT
she sat down on the
cold, golden floor
tiles to put on her shoes.
I spent a LIFE-TIME
rescuing stray.......CATS....! I
figured... THAT would
at LEAST get me a
down at his human
friend; he doesn't
see very well, either.
Author shrugs, and
gives one of her lopsided grimaces,
that she was famous
for on Earth. She
just yada-yada STUFF........."
She shrugs again.
"ONE time.....I wrote
a STORY..about the
going to a GOD CONVENTION... and
all the other GODS,
there, told Him to put
planet Earth on eBAY.....!"
again; even his usually
gown was feeling itchy.
"Yeah....? Did ya
get any POINTS....
Author turned around
to grimace, again,
at the slammed-shut
Bema Judgment Room
if any one
with gold, silver,
wood, hay, straw -
each man's work
[1 Corinthians 3:12-13]
*'It's the Great
Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!'.
1966; Charles Schultz.