29 One day Jacob was cooking a stew. Esau came in from the field, starved.
*You go out on a date with this guy. You’re both attracted to each other. You’re touching and laughing. He smells and looks good and so do you! All is going well. In all of this, hormones are stirring up because you are attracted to each other. Ladies, we have chemistry!
30 Esau said to Jacob, “Give me some of that red stew-I’m starved!” That’s how he came to be called Edom (Red).
31 Jacob said, “Make me a trade: my stew for your rights as the firstborn.”
*When you have sex for the first time with someone who is not your husband, you’re giving away, trading your would be husband’s rights (to be your first) to your virginity. You’ve taken away his gift of being your first, one and only lover.
32 Esau said, “I’m starving! What good is a birthright if I’m dead?”
*I gotta have you now! I’m horny! I’m going to go crazy if I don’t or why do we have to wait? We’re here now. One time won’t hurt anything; just wanna see if you’ll like it or if I’ll like you or if we fit together. I won’t hurt you; just wanna make you feel good. Any of these sound familiar? Feel free to add to the list!
33 Jacob said, “First, swear to me.” And he did it. On oath Esau traded away his rights as the firstborn.
*You tell him your fears that he’ll leave you, hurt you, get you pregnant and he says no, none of these things will happen. You’re convinced and persuaded and then you give in, you trade away; give away your precious body, your precious gift. You connect with this guy mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally-all of this by having sex with him.
34 Jacob gave him bread and the stew of lentils. He ate and drank, got up and left. That’s how Esau shrugged off his rights as the firstborn.
*You laid down had sex with him, opened yourself up to him and then he leaves. You’re left wondering if you’ll ever hear from him again, will he tell everyone he knows or if perhaps you didn’t use protection or the condom broke, you’re left wondering did I catch anything from him, is there a chance that I could have gotten pregnant?
In this story, Jacob wanted all the rights that come along with being the first-born child. But they belonged to Esau. But we see in this story that the birthrights don’t seem to mean that much to Esau because he gave them away so easily. It says in verse 34 that he shrugged them off. In the dictionary to shrug off means to disregard, minimize, to rid one of. So when you think of it, when you have sex for the first time with someone who’s not your husband, you disregard, make light of and get rid of your gift of virginity, your husband’s “birthright” and your beautiful body that God has given you. In the end, you minimize or make yourself look and feel small because you have given in. The reality is that in some cases ignorance plays the greatest part because, just like me, you weren’t taught the meaning of sex or what it’s all about and that it’s more than just not getting pregnant and not contracting a sexually transmitted disease.
What is sex anyway?
The intended purpose of sex is to allow a man and woman to unite emotionally and physically, as husband and wife, with the possibility of forming a new human life and becoming parents. Sex is intended to be pleasurable for both the husband and wife. When used for any other purpose, it can result in regret, insecurity, heartache, divorce, abortion, disease and infection. (www.purposeforsex.org)
When you think about sex, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? For me, it was what I’d seen on TV; some fabrications of this couple all hot and heavy going at it as if their lives depended on it. This is awesome, if you’re married! But for the record, even when you’re married, this scene is not always the case! Just saying this so you will know that TV hypes up everything! That’s how the money is made!
Sex was designed and created by God for both pleasure and procreation. Hence “be fruitful and multiply”. Sex was given to married couples as a gift. Yes, that’s right, a gift! It’s a representation of our relationship with God or the relationship He longs to have with us. When you have sex with someone, you become “one” with them. God wants us to become “one” with Him in body and spirit.
Webster’s Dictionary defines gift as something freely given; a natural ability. God has freely given us these natural feelings and abilities to experience this wonderful gift for becoming one with our spouse. Yes, it’s also a natural ability; it’s natural that you will have sexual desires; after all, He gave them to us as well. However, we are warned about awakening these sexual desires in the Bible. Sex is a deep, act of love that cannot be expressed by words. Sex is the act that transforms a marriage to a whole deeper level. It produces intimacy in a way that no other act can! Sex is a universally spoken language of love and also one of the most exploited of all our sinful weaknesses. God gave us sex because He wanted us to experience and to have pleasure in our lives. He only wants great things for us! He reserved sex for marriage because he knew the consequences and pain of not doing so. 1 Corinthians 6:12a says that “Everything is permissible for me: – but not everything is beneficial. God gave us free will but it doesn’t give us the right to abuse it. By choosing to have sex outside of marriage, what are you expecting to get out of it? What’s the real benefit? Really, sit down and think about it, what are you really getting out of this, 1-5 minutes (maybe!) of pleasure (if it’s your first time, pain), then what?
Sexual immorality or fornication is sex outside of marriage or sexual intercourse between unmarried persons. It is a great sin. It is so because when you have sex with someone who you’re not married to; you sin against your own body as well as God. 1 Corinthians 6:13-16 says, “The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. I never knew this until I gave my life to Christ, until I started reading His Word. A prostitute?! Seriously?! If you think of it, sex outside of marriage is like prostitution. You give your body away to someone you probably don’t intend to marry and you pay for it, with your body, your life, and your emotional and spiritual self. You’re worth more than that!
If you’re thinking of having sex outside of marriage, consider this, you’re giving away one of the greatest gifts that God has given you. You can’t get it back! Also, think about the person you’re giving yourself away to. Is he worth it? If so, why not get married first? If you’re not ready for marriage, then you’re definitely not ready for sex.