Okay, so my kids are growing up. Some of them are taller than I am, most of them are smarter than I am and all of them are better looking than I am. With God’s help, I think I can finally admit it - they are definitely growing up.
I had my first clue yesterday at the dry-cleaners that I might be in denial about this growing-up thing. The cleaners covered my garments with that thin, plastic film. Are you aware that dry-cleaner's plastic regularly chokes innocent babies in their cribs? Faithfully, for fifteen years, I have removed it before I take the cleaning to the van, to protect my babies from choking on it. Yesterday was no different. As I took the plastic off, I noticed the teen-aged attendant looking at me strangely.
“I have seven children. This stuff is dangerous; my kids might put it in their mouths,” I protectively asserted.
I followed his gaze to my children, who had trooped in from the car, unassisted, gathered the dry-cleaning and were hanging it in the back of the van. He was trying to figure out why these otherwise normal-looking young people had death wishes that involved dry-cleaning plastic.
“Okay, …sure,” he soothed, as he raised his bushy eyebrows and flashed a patronizing grin.
Have you ever felt incredibly stupid?
The other clue I have that my children are maturing is that three of them shave hair from their faces on a regular basis. Thankfully, all three are male. I know this because they leave the shaven hair in the sink. Girls would not do that. Only two of the boys actually have to shave, the other one just does it to be cool. He does quite a few things to be cool. In fact, it is just about all he does. I wish it were considered ‘cool’ to clean the bathroom.
Maybe, it is finally safe to put the Idaho pieces back on our puzzle maps! In case you are wondering, Idaho is shaped like a perfect gun, and any little boy will quickly figure that out. In no time at all, little boys will confiscate all your Idaho pieces and you will eventually find them in their blue jean pockets or under their beds - if you are lucky. Even if you give them real, loaded guns so they can actually shoot each other, they will steal your Idaho pieces. I do not get it.
I also do not get where the last few years have gone. Yesterday, I was scrubbing spaghetti from the carpet…(no, wait, that really was yesterday and the stain is still there). It seems that it was not too long ago that they needed to be “rocked in the big rockin’ chair,” now they can easily move that immense rocking chair into another room.
A couple of my children can move extremely heavy furniture. They wear the same size socks as their father, who never has any socks because of that fact. They can mow the lawn, wash the car and clean the kitchen without breaking hardly anything. (Most of the good stuff was broken when they were little, anyway.) They can weed the garden, make a pot of coffee, change the sheets, turn the mattresses and reach things that are way up high. On a good day, they can clean the whole house when company is on its way in about 30 minutes.
Hmmm…maybe this growing-up thing is not so bad, Lord.