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Search For Everlasting
by David Miller
05/09/12
Not For Sale
Author requests article critique


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There be many gentle teasings which draw a manís eye onward.
Such silly these for am I known to forgo which has been anointed.
Mere thoughts and feelings draw me near to hearing heavenís breath.
Though blissful joy and bleeding vows should fall but for a moment.
All sins are won yet more is lost when a lustful deed doth flow.
Tis the intent not such the act where ends oneís everlasting.

False prophets old and some of new speak high of everlasting.
Ingenious fellows dare to follow their reverse path up onward.
Boulders and stones tossed to and forth disrupt this riverís flow.
Rage fills the herds and mindless souls shall look to their anointed.
Coherent thought cannot one shout to bend and thrust the moment.
Silence will fill the empty souls which wait with baited breath.

Rugged winds rip through the earnest rob them of precious breath.
Still trust they on him they see called as such true the everlasting.
Seconds shall pass down through the ages all await one tiny moment.
Tremendous pains and trials are due to forge their struggle onward.
Yet true they are each step the road they trust is blessed anointed.
Enchanted soldiers believe such vapors though small shall hold their flow.

Others remain steadfast they search for each their own true flow.
Such hearts are stained with struggles and pain from aching fights for breath.
Blind leads on blind as they forsake existence at all anointed.
Forces of nature sole passed through ages they see as everlasting.
Small steps for man are all they seek thus no more struggle onward.
For why they see wherefore man lives simply for every moment.

Deities look through endless ages still searching for a man of moment.
Winds of change their sickened method of forced stains on timeís flow.
At each raw path such do they run to stop our marching onward.
Joyful as they know each corner of earth throngs wait upon one breath.
The longing shows now at the close of beloved on everlasting.
All wait ends timeless times again as at last one is anointed.

How faulty leg worn travelled sorrow looks shame down on anointed.
Moreover hurt and pain are showing those lived for a false shown moment.
Truly so many hearts hopelessly loved souls tied to an empty everlasting.
Once loved now hollow they looked assured upon an evil backwards flow.
Hearts ache and veins run cold such asunder torn one last breath.
Such horror looked upon vast millions as no more now move they onward.

Anointed men and those who truly reached for such small paths onward.
This moment shown for each who trusted theyíll never have want for breath.
Elation flows from centuries focused now through true everlasting flow.


If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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Member Comments
Member Date
David Miller 21 May 2012
I know what you mean about the read. This was done following a specific pattern. It was very challenging but the result is very strange compared to most of the stuff I have written. I agree with you 100%. Thanks for the critique and all of your other kind words.
Marina Rojas 19 May 2012
This was a rough read for me; I like prose done freestyle, and I like the old English touch in lyrics..but this seemed almost like it was too much altogether. Maybe a gleaning of same thought sentences would soften this up and probably either give you a large stanza type writing, or a series of poems that could be offered almost as a small anthology... Your writings are surely going to touch others for the glory of our Lord and King, keep writing, keep writing, keep writing!




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