ďI am the light of the world, he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.Ē
What welcoming words to one that has walked in darkness for most of her life. I know the dark so very well. I came to love the dark, and purposely shut out the light because I could not bear to see myself. The dark gave me comfort, so I could remain blind to my sins and hang on to my resentments of others without having to look at the real culprit. Myself.
I didnít know Jesus then. I certainly didnít know myself. I followed no one. I walked around in the dark so I couldnít see anyone, anyway. I prayed, but so much sin was in my heart there no room left for God. I believed no one cared about me, therefore why should I care?
Then disaster struck, the real kind, not the kind I only imagined. The dark turned pitch black. No where to run or hide. Stuck in the big black hole and without a way to climb out.
Then came this feeling, this enveloping warmth and a voice telling me it was time to let go completely. Just float for a while, suspended in air. There was no other option for me, for I was near death. When death comes so near to you, you have no choice but to pray. I mean pray with every fiber of your being. Itís just you and God and nothing or no one else. You pray or you just give up and die.
Through this kind of adversity we have the opportunity to find our way to God. Jesus told me to live, and I lived. The dark hole turned to light, and Jesus brought me up and out and set my feet on a firm foundation. I began to see the light, and it was beautiful.
Now, I no longer hide darkness, afraid. I am still amazed when I wake up in the morning without fear. I reach for the shades and let in the light. I have such life today, and for most of my life, life was what I was afraid of. In the place of fear I now feel hopeful, excited, free. Free, because I now follow Jesus and He is my light in this world.
The very fact I am able to write my stories and put them out for all the world to see tells me I am not the person I used to be, the one who lived in doubt and fear. I live now to tell other people what Jesus can do in their lives if they only give their life to Him. If I reach one person with the message of hope, love, and forgiveness of Christ, I feel I have done what God ultimately put me on this earth for.
I no longer walk in darkness, I now have the light of life.