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Too Cold for Meowing
by Eric Christopher Jackson
04/24/12
Not For Sale
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FADE IN:

INT. CONDO - NEW YORK CITY - NIGHT

It has been six months since BRAD and DIANE SPENCER got married. As usual, on Friday night, they are hosting a party in their sky-rise condominium. They both mingle in separate areas in the midst of a crowd full of friends.

LIVING ROOM

Diane talks to TORI, MARIE, and JESSICA.

TORI
I know Iíve said this before, but this is a beautiful place.

DIANE
I put a lot of work into it, thanks.

MARIE
But um...

Diane steps forward.

DIANE
What?

JESSICA
Why is it so cold in here?!

MARIE
Yeah, all the time!

Diane rolls her eyes.

DIANE
Because of Bradís stupid fish.

Tori puts her hand on Dianeís arm.

TORI
Itís fine though, Diane. Itís still a nice place.

MARIE
Just, a little too cold.

Diane sneezes. They all look concerned.

JESSICA
I donít need a cold, Diane.

DIANE
Neither do I!

JESSICA
Why donít you just turn the A/C down?

Diane hesitates.

MARIE
(to Jessica)
They got into a fight about that before...

JESSICA
(to Diane)
Youíre kidding?

DIANE
(to Jessica)
We paid a lot for those, stupid fish.

HOME BAR

Brad is making more drinks for JASON, ROB, and CRAIG.

CRAIG
We never hang out as much anymore.

Brad nods and looks around the room.

ROB
I say we hit the clubs like the good olí days!

Brad pops him in the arm.

BRAD
I told you not to mention ďclubsĒ around my wife!

Rob puts his hands up. Brad looks quickly around the room.

ROB
Sorry, man, gosh.

JASON
(to Brad)
What are you looking for?

Brad looks around briefly.

BRAD
Uuhhh...

CRAIG
(to Jason)
His wifeís cat.

Jason pauses to look at Brad. Brad waves him off.

BRAD
Itís nothing.

Rob starts cracking up.

ROB
(to Jason)
Last week, the freaking cat fell in the punch bowl trying to drink out of it!

Brad is wide-eyed.

BRAD
(whispers to Rob)
Will you shut up?!

JASON
The cat fell -- ?

CRAIG
(to Jason)
-- Rob actually had punch after that.

BRAD
Guys! I told my wife we wouldnít talk about it anymore. Okay?!

The guys shake their heads, but Rob still giggles.

ROB
You think Friskyís gonna made another appearance tonight?

They all, save Brad, start laughing, trying to hold it in. Brad walks off as he spots Frisky coming out of the bedroom.

TIME CUT TO:

SAME SCENE - TWO HOURS LATER

After the party, Brad and Diane are almost finished cleaning up. Diane sneezes again. Bradís back is turned, she heads for the A/C controls.

BRAD
Honey, youíre getting a cold.

Brad turns around to see her at the A/C controls.

BRAD (CONTíD)
What are you doing?

Diane slaps her hand down on her thigh.

DIANE
Iím turning off the A/C for --

BRAD
-- Diane, the fish --

Diane spins around.

DIANE
-- I donít care about the stupid fish!

Brad is taken back.

BRAD
Just a second. I donít call your cat, stupid.

Diane stomps forward.

DIANE
Thatís because thereís nothing wrong with Frisky!

BRAD
He fell in the punch --

Diane points at him.

DIANE
-- Donít bring that up again!

Brad shakes his head.

BRAD
And I canít sleep Ďcause heís always crawling across my head, meowing in my face --

Diane gasps.

DIANE
-- Heís saying ďgood morningĒ to us --

BRAD
He needs his own room!

DIANE
No! Frisky is free to sleep wherever he wants.

BRAD
Fine! Then, my fish need to stay thirty degrees below room temperature!

Diane waves at him and storms into the room, SLAMMING the DOOR behind her.

INT. CONDO - BEDROOM - DAY

Brad and Diane wake up well-rested, both with a smile on their face as the sun shines through their windows. They look at each other to notice the otherís happiness.

BRAD
Honey, Iím sorry about the A/C --

DIANE
-- No, I guess I overreacted about Frisky --

BRAD
-- Maybe it is kind of... strange to have the A/C --

DIANE
-- Frisky doesnít have to wake us.

Brad looks around the room noticing the room temperature.

Diane sits up in the bed looking back and forth for Frisky.

BRAD
Diane... itís... itís kind of warm in here.

DIANE
Frisky didnít wake us up this morning. Itís already after seven oíclock!

Brad and Diane quickly jump out of bed. Diane looks around the bedroom.

DIANE (CONTíD)
Frisky... Frisky, baby... where are you?

Brad is going through the bedroom door, then turns back.

BRAD
Diane, what happened to the A/C?

DIANE
Frisky!
(to Brad)
I donít know! You run it so much, maybe it broke! Why didnít he wake us up this morning?!

BRAD
(shrugs)
Friskyís a growing cat, he probably got tired of it!

LIVING ROOM

Brad looks over the A/C controls as Diane roams about the room calling for Frisky.

BRAD
Did you, uhh, turn off the A/C while I was asleep?

DIANE
Frisky, baby, oh my gosh!
(to Brad)
Would you forget about the A/C. Help me find my cat!

BRAD
He probably --

-- Brad gasps and runs towards the fish stand.

BRAD (CONTíD)
Weíve been robbed! My fish, my fish are gone!

DIANE
Why would someone steal your stupid fish?!
(to Frisky)
Frisky, stop playing! Where are you?!

Brad pauses to see a trail of water spilled on the floor.

BRAD
Look, someone did take them!

Diane pauses to listen to something else.

DIANE
Wait. Do you hear that?

There are CARS HONKING outside as they pass by the condominium complex.

Diane walks to the balcony sliding glass door to look down at what all the commotion is about. She slides the door open.

Brad follows the trail of spilled water through the kitchen.

They both scream.

TIME CUT TO:

INT. NYC LOBBY - THREE HOURS LATER - DAY

In a fancy corporate building, Tori, Jessica, and Marie look concerned as they whisper to Craig, Rob, and Jason. They all look back down the hall to the front office door.

INT. COUNSELING OFFICE

Brad and Diane sit on separate couches as they listen to a MARRIAGE COUNSELOR try to give them advice.

COUNSELOR
Weíre not going to get anywhere if you donít express your feelings. Talk it out.

Diane sits up to the front of the couch, angrily.

DIANE
He dropped my cat outside on the scaffolding!

The counselor sits back, looks at Brad.

BRAD
She, turns off, the A/C unit --

DIANE
-- All of New York was honking because they thought my cat was gonna commit suicide -- !

BRAD
-- Then, puts my fish, in the freezer.

The counselor looks at Diane.

DIANE
Oh, donít get me started on those stupid fish!

FADE OUT.


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ISBN: 978-1494773854

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