thank you for the comment very much. I did take your advice and I feel the poem does read much better with a more even flow. I always appreciate other peoples advice on how to improve as a poet. thank you
I enjoyed reading this poem. Your use of rhyme serves the poem well, rather than being forced, or making a statement that doesn't quite make sense to fit the rhyme scheme. I like your imagery. I like the ideas, you very reflectively pose for the reader. I like the contrast between the opposing points of view. Well done.
The only change I would make is to get rid of a few unnecessary articles, prepositions, and pronouns in order to streamline the piece and help the reader to focus more on the image. For example, it's not necessary to say "the mountains" you could simply say mountains and "Refreshing every valley and the plains" could become instead refreshing every valley, every plain.