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The Sick and the Lame
by Julie Michaelson
04/18/12
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When you offer
blind animals
in sacrifice....
And..
those that are
lame or sick,
is that
no evil?
..says the
Lord of Hosts.
[Malachi 1:8]
*****************
Time: Present day.
Place: Heavenly Throne Room.
Characters: The Father [GRUFF
VOICE], and The Holy Spirit
[CASPER]; Malachio, one of the
Throne Room angels.
_________________
The Throne Room door softly
swings open. A Bright Warm
Shaft of Light caresses the
doorway. Immediately the
motley group of angels, on their way
out of an Assignment Meeting,
bow low.

It's The Holy Spirit.

[GRUFF VOICE.]
"Casper, what are You
doing Here this time of Day?
I thought Our meeting was
at 4 o'clock?"

[Holy Spirit moves gently
forward into the room: a small
wavering white sheet marked only
by two big eye-cutouts. He
is carrying a little piece of paper
in His hand, that looks like the
fold of a sheet.]
"Yes, I know. But, one of
Our children wanted Me to
bring You this message."

[GRUFF FROWN.]
"Why didn't she bring
it to Me,
PERSONALLY?"

[Holy Spirit gently slides
over the golden floor, and
goes to sit down on the Third
Throne. He sighs.]
"Well..........
she figured You'd get
MAD."

[GRUFF VOICE.]
"About what."

The Holy Spirit looks down
at the scrap of smudged paper
in His hand. He gently frowns,
and then hands the paper to
His angel-in-attendance, whose
name is Malachio. Malachio bows,
takes the scap of paper, and
then kneels before the Middle
Throne on a big velvet cushion
and holds out the folded paper.

[GRUFF VOICE.]
"What's this."

[CASPER.]
"It's from Our daughter.
She has a complaint."

[GRUFF VOICE.]
"You mean.....
a kvetch."

[CASPER shrugs gently;
He doesn't really have any
shoulders, so His shrugs are
always just Barely Visible.]
"Well.......I wouldn't say THAT."
[Shrug.]
"It's more.......of a.....
CONCERN."

[GRUFF MURMUR.]
"Hm, hm."

(Malachio, whose halo'ed head
is bowed, and who is holding
out the folded piece of paper
that is still damp from being
carried through the 3rd Layer
of Heaven, speaks dutifully.)
"Would You like me to READ
IT out LOUD,
Father?"

"Yes,
Malachio."
[GRUFF SIGH.]
"Go on."

(Malachio nods with his bowed
and haloe'd head. Then he opens
the little paper and squints at it.
Then he pats around his gown
and pulls out a small pair of
rainbow-sparkly tinted reading
glasses. Then he clears his throat,
and begins to read very
slowly and loudly.)
"Dear LORD!
I HAVE A COMPLAINT.....!"

[GRUFF VOICE INTERRUPTS.]
"I thought You said this was
a CONCERN, Casper?"
[GRUFF NOD.]
"Go on, Malachio.
And you don't have to shout;
I'm right Here."

(Malachio looks up. He's
still squinting. He nods, bows
his haloe'd head, and continues,
just as loudly as before.)
".....WHY DID YOU SAY
THAT YOU DON'T LIKE
HANDICAPPED ANIMALS?"

[GRUFF VOICE interrupts,
again.]
"When was... THIS?"

[Holy Spirit leans to His right
in the big Throne Chair. He is
very small, and the Chair is way
too big for Him. He speaks
softly: almost a whisper.]
"........in.....
.... Malachi."

[GRUFF VOICE.]
"Oh.........OH.......
[GRUFF NOD.]
[FROWN.]
"NOW.......
I get the... GIST."
[GRUFF NOD.]
"Go on,
Malachio."

(Malachio clears his throat
again. He looks up.)
"Father, can I get a LOSONGE
out of my POCKET?
My THROAT'S dry!"

[GRUFF VOICE.]
"Why is it DRY?
You're an ANGEL!"

(Malachio looks up at the Middle
Throne, woefully. He's patting
about, again, over his gown pockets.)
"I always get real NERVOUS
when I have to read out LOUD!"

[GRUFF SIGH.]
"Go on."

(Malachio stops a moment to
open up a little bitty paper wrap:
it's cherry-colored, and reveals
a bright cherry-colored, tiny
oval-shaped Earth object. He
puts the object into his mouth,
and begins to make loud sucking
noises. Then he clears his throat
again, and continues reading
loudly and slowly.)
"....WHY DO YOU HATE
HANDICAPPED ANIMALS?
THAT'S TERRIBLE!
THAT'S AWFUL!
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
WHY DO YOU HATE THEM
SO MUCH?"
(The angel, who is still making
slurping, sucking noises, stops
reading and looks up.)
"Should I go ON,
FATHER?"

[GRUFF VOICE.]
"There's more?"

(Malachio nods: still slurping.
He lets the scrap of paper unfold;
it unfolds to the gold
floor tile, and continues to unfold.)
"Yes, FATHER!
Do You want me to FINISH?"

[GRUFF VOICE.]
"Go ahead,
Malachio."

(Malachio nods, and pulls
out another tiny wrapped candy:
it's lemon-colored. After a moment,
he is loudly slurping
again. He continues reading.)
"....I THINK THAT IS HORRIBLE!
WHAT A TERRIBLE THING TO SAY!
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ENCOURAGING PEOPLE
TO TAKE CARE OF THOSE POOR ANIMALS
INSTEAD OF BEING MEAN AND CRUEL TO
THEM! WHY DIDN'T YOU
TELL THEM JUST TO TAKE
THEM HOME AND TAKE CARE
OF THEM? YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN SHOWING
LOVING KINDNESS TO THESE
POOR BABIES INSTEAD OF
TELLING EVERYBODY HOW MUCH YOU HATED THEM!
THAT'S HORRIBLE! WHAT
KIND OF ROLE-MODELING IS
THAT? YOU SHOULD HAVE
BEEN TEACHING THEM ANIMAL
HUMANENESS!"
(Malachio swallowed and looked
up; the scrap of smudged paper
unfolds another five feet on
the gold tile.)
"Should I go ON,
Father?"

[GRUFF VOICE.]
"There's MORE?"

[Holy Spirit leans over again
in His too-big-Throne Chair.
He whispers.]
"Our daughter.....
likes to write a lot....
You know.."

[GRUFF VOICE.]
"I thought You said this
was a MESSAGE? This is
a constitutional AMENDMENT!"

[Holy Spirit gently frowns
and nods.]
"Well.......I think that's what
Our daughter had in mind....."
[Holy Spirit hops off the Throne
Chair, and slides over to the
River of Life. He never likes
sitting on the big chair too long,
and really enjoys dangling the
edge of his white sheet in the
cold water. All the angels around Him
bow silently, except
for Malachio, who's still kneeling
with the paper unfolding from
his hand. Several tiny colored
wrappers have fallen out of the
attending-angel's yellow gauzy
gown pocket, and onto the golden
floor.]
"She wants the whole Book
rewritten:
all of It."

[GRUFF VOICE.]
"Oy vey."

[Holy Spirit continues dangling his non-feet
into the cool water. A duck comes by and
quacks; two fuzzy yellow ducklings are following.
They quack, too.]
"Yes. She wants all the bad stuff about the JEWS taken out, too. She says the whole entire Book is prejudiced against MINORITIES, WOMEN, and the HANDICAPPED."

[GRUFF VOICE.]
"Oy vey 'z mir."

(Malachio.)
"Should I go ON,
FATHER?"

[NOD.]
[GRUFF VOICE.]
"Yes, Malachio.
But, first, you
have My Permission
to go outside to the vending
machines and get yourself...
another bag of cough drops."
**************************
The wolf
shall dwell
with the lamb,
and the
leopard
shall lie down
with the
kid,
and the calf
and the lion...
together.
[Isaiah 11:6]


Copyright 2012.

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