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Weather Related Subjects
by Jeff Fuller
Not For Sale
Author requests article critique


If you do not have anything to talk about, let me suggest the weather as a subject of great interest.
Everywhere we go someone has something to say about the weather. It has either been cold or hot; rainy or dry; breezy or calm. Not just cold or hot, rainy or dry, breezy or calm; we are talking extremes of each, in many forms and at times at the same moments. We have experienced a number of varieties to the weather over the last month.
Who would have thought tornadoes would tear through the northeastern side of Birmingham at this time of the year? Center Point, Clayridge, Trussville and several other places are still digging out, while we are still hearing from those who were affected by the April storms less than a year ago in the Tuscaloosa area.
Then we hear the story of that skunk, no sorry that is a squirrel, or was it a hog of some variety. Sorry, Savannah corrected me.
“Daddy it was a groundhog. He saw his shadow and there will be six more weeks of winter.”
Well, if this is winter, I hate to think what is going to happen in the summer months. Of course as I write this article, James Spann and Jeff Jumper are telling us that there is going to be a definite change in the weather over the next few days, as an extreme cold spell sweeps through the south and we experience cold days and cold nights. Add that one to the weather related subject, and you will have a conversation for a “Mont of Sunday’s,” as Andy Griffin would say to Barney Fife.
Speaking of James Spann; he was a hot topic the other night at the end of prayer meeting. When the severe storms moved through a few weeks ago, the prince of Meteorologists was noted as saying, “Rockford, it is now time to go to your safe place, and take cover. A tornado is heading along a parallel line with Alabama Highway 22 and will likely be over the courthouse within the next few minutes. I urge everyone in the Rockford area to take cover, and please put a helmet on your head…”
A helmet? He suggested a bicycle helmet be placed on your head to protect from falling debris. Now that is one novel idea that I have never thought about.
But wait, it gets better. Some of my senior adults, the sweetest woman in my congregation, came up with an even better idea and I believe this may work.
Two ladies said their safe was the bathroom. They will huddle together in the bathroom with the dog. Since they do not have bicycles, they have decided the next time they have to run to their little safe place, they are going to grab pots and pans and rope.
Here is how it was explained to me.
“I’m going to get the dishpan for her and put it over her head,” said the first lady, commenting on her sisters need for a covering during inclement weather.
The sister chimed in with a question, “But how will I keep it from blowing off?”
“We will tie it with twine or rope; whichever we can find,” answered the first.” We will put it under your chin and make a pretty little bow out of it, so you will look pretty.”
“But don’t you think it will blow off and choke me to death?”
“No, we can tie it tight enough that it will not blow off.”
“Sure you can, but the twine will slide off of the dishpan and then my head will not be covered.”
“A dishpan has holes in it and we can run the twine through those holes, with one piece on each side and then tie the two pieces together under your chin.” The first lady continued, “I’ll use the big pot we cook the beans in for homecoming, since we only have one dishpan and your head is bigger than mine.”
“But you can’t tie the pot to your head, because it doesn’t have holes in it.”
“I’ll hold it down,” the first responded.
“You can’t hold it down if you are holding the dog,” replied the second lady.
“I’ll figure it out,” the first replied, “I can always drill small holes in each side and put the twine through there and tie it off and then we will both have real pretty bows.”
“If you go to drilling holes in the pot we cook beans in for homecoming, then what are we going to cook the beans in?”
“Listen, if James Spann said to cover our heads and this is the best we can do then this is what we are going to do.” The first lady paused and then said, “If we don’t cover our heads with the dishpan and the pot we cook beans in and the debris falls on us and kills us, then who will cook the beans for next years homecoming? Think on that, will you!”
After I picked myself up off the floor of the sanctuary and wiped the tears from my eyes, I offered to buy them helmets. Yet, that would not detour them; the dishpan and the pot for the beans for homecoming was the answer to James Spann’s advice and there would be no changing of plans.
The Bible says we have a helmet for the storms of life and to protect us from the assault of an evil one who wants to desperately take away the purity and passion of our lives. Actually, the great Apostle Paul said there was armor for us to put on for the warfare of life:
“Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints.” (Ephesians 6:10-18 NKJV)
All of these are important for life, as we live in liberty, sheltered in the safe, loving arms of Jesus, our Savior and Lord. Friends, it is time to get to the safe place, put on the helmet of salvation; and the rest of the armor and stand ready to fend off the assault of the evil one who desires to take your soul.
As for the other helmet, I believe there are two helmets in the garage; one Savannah still wears when she is riding her bicycle, the other she has retired. She and I are covered; I guess Tina and Granny will have use a pot and dishpan, if James Spann says, “People in Rockford it is time to get to your safe place…”

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