when I'm not really looking,
I catch myself thinking of the Past.
Depending on the setting,
I may laugh.
Sometimes at you,sometimes at me,
It brings me relief to mock It.
Our past, our story. Our relationship-
A well rehearsed chess match
Two hearts,two lives but with one goal.
To have needs met,it was a powerful exchange.
But love contracts which stray
From God's heart
Falter,wither and die.
With death came life
I found the true Christ
Sometimes, I long for you.
If i could just
Get back some of the feeling i've lost
Of all things our love wasn't
It was nothing short of
P is for the pain and pleasure of knowing you
A is for the advanced state of my fear of repeating the past
S is for the secretive nature of us,
T is for the torrent of emotions I felt when I had to say goodbye.
But more and more
As the winter grasses turn green again
And spring announces its welcome presence
I can call myself my own again.
Sometimes,it's almost worth it
To remember the pain
So I can embrace my freedom
From ties and breaks and rips and fears.
I am who I am,
Living with repercussions
But also budding and blooming with life.
Look into my eyes.
One day,you will see no more regrets there.
Once-I let you own me
It's so unnatural for it to come to nothing
But maybe my soul was called
To something deeper.
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