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A Midnight Drive
by Bill Rozmiarek
06/16/04
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"Can't stay awake...must rest…"
"Hey, wake up. You have to stay awake."
"I'm awake. I can do this. No problem..."
"Hey! You have to wake up!"
"I am asleep...I mean awake..."
"Wake up! Are you trying to kill us?!?"
"It's all right. We've made our peace with God."
"Yeah, but how do you know the people in the other cars have?"
"Huh?"
"Wake up!"
"I'm up. Stop shouting."
“I’m not shouting.”
“Yes, you are.”
"Well, do something to stay awake. Keep your mind occupied."
"Ok..."
"Hey, wake up!"
"Huh? Yeah. I'm up. What should I do to stay awake?"
"I don't know."
"Well, it was your suggestion."
"Maybe you should recite bible verses."
"Um..."
"Wake up!"
"I'm up. I'm just trying to think of a verse."
"Well think with your eyes open!"
"Ok. I've got one. Genesis 2:21 - And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept."
"No."
"How about Exodus 33:14 - And he said, My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest."
"Knock it off!"
"How about Proverbs 6:10-“
“Stop it. You need to wake up.”
“I’m up.”
“Maybe we should pick up a hitchhiker. That would give us someone to talk to.”
“People don’t hitchhike anymore.”
“Sure they do.”
“No they don’t.”
“They don’t?”
“No, they don’t.”
“Why don’t they?”
“I don’t know. They just don’t.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. When was the last time you saw a hitchhiker?”
“I can’t remember.”
“Me either.”
“Wasn’t that a hitchhiker we saw a few miles ago?”
“No, that was a policeman looking at an abandoned car.”
“Oh. Let’s play a game.”
“What game?”
“I’m thinking of a number between 1 and 1 million.”
“That’s a stupid game.”
“No, it isn’t. Just guess.”
“Ok. 7,500.”
“Let’s play something else.”
“Let’s not.”
“Hey! There’s a hitchhiker up there. Stop and pick him up.”
“That’s not a hitchhiker.”
“Sure it is.”
“Oh. Well, what if he’s a homicidal maniac?”
“Hey, at least he’ll keep us awake.”
“Yeah, until he kills us.”
“What’s life without adventure?”
“What’s life after you get killed?”
“Huh?”
“Never mind. Just let me do the talking.”
“Hey! Do you need a ride?”
“Thanks, man. My car ran out of gas but I saw a sign for a gas station at the next exit.”
“It’s the middle of the night. Do you really think the gas station is going to be open?”
“Don’t be an idiot. I’m sure it’ll be open.”
“What did you call me?”
“What? Oh, sorry. I wasn’t talking to you.”
“Who were you talking to?”
“Nobody. I didn’t say anything.”
“Now you did it. Now you got him mad…Did you see that? I think he has a gun!”
“He doesn’t have a gun.”
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, nothing.”
“There’s a bulge in his shirt. I bet it’s a gun. Ask him if he has a gun.”
“I’m not going to ask him that.”
“You’re just afraid that I’m right and he’ll shoot us.”
“No. You’re just crazy and I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”
“Um, maybe you could just let me out now.“
“No, it’s ok. The exit isn’t far. That blue sign up there is for the gas station.”
“See, I told you it would be open.”
“No, you said it would be closed. I said it would be open.”
“Could you just let me out? I can walk from here. That way you won’t have to get off the interstate.”
“No, it’s ok. Don’t worry about it.”
“I think you’re upsetting him. He’s going to knife us, I’m telling you.”
“Now he has a knife? I thought it was a gun.”
“See? I thought it was a gun, too.”
“Would you just shut up!”
“Please, I don’t want any trouble. Just stop the car now!”
“Ok. You don’t have to get upset.”
“Just leave me alone, please.”
“Have a nice night.”
“I told you that you shouldn’t pick up hitchhikers. They’re crazy.”
“You didn’t say that.”
“Yes, I did.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Hey, do you want to play a game?”
“No. I need to get some sleep.”
“Why don’t you stop at that gas station.”
“What gas station?”
“The one with the blue sign.”
“Ok.”


bill@gatheredtogether.org

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Member Comments
Member Date
19 Jun 2004
I thought this was a great story. What I got from it was that the person talking to the driver was actually his guardian angel.
Sarah Balk Bond 16 Jun 2004
Thanks for such a good laugh! It's sometimes hard to stay awake. If you were so tired, why didn't the other person drive? It was still really funny, and I needed the laugh. Thanks!




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