Iíve been born again for quite a while, gave my life to Christ at 13. Then, I was the only member of my family who was a Christian. Iím 21 now, and Iím still the only member of my family whoís a Christian.
It isnít much fun, I must tell you. I'm not able to share scripture with my siblings, not able to hold their hands and agree in prayer about anything, not because I donít know how to, but because they wont appreciate it.
I have prayed and prayed, God please save my family. Iíve believed God for this for so long that now, I donít pray anymore. Maybe thatís wrong, maybe I shouldnít give up.
It sure does break my heart to see my siblings follow the path of sin, to hear them talk about booze and sex. Canít they see itís all so futile? Canít they see living for God is the only life there is?
Many times, Iíve wondered, is it me? Am I living right? Am I reflecting Christ? Is there something Iím doing wrong? Why do I find it easier to tell my friends and strangers about God than members of my own family? I guess itís because Iím scared. I donít want to talk too much about my faith at home because I fear that in the course of living, I may fall short of their expectations of a Christian.
I still lose my temper at home, now and then. I get into moods and once in a while, I`m caught in a lie. Of course, Iím not proud of this `achievementsí.Iím fully human and they see that.
But do they see my faith at all? Lord, I wonder. Do they see how Iíve grown in you and how youíve changed me? Do they really see my faith? If they do, then whatís keeping them from giving their lives to You? For how long will I be the only Christian in my family? For how long will I be the butt of jokes and taunts at home? For how long would I prefer to hang out with my friends at church than with my siblings?
Lord, please give me the strength to keep praying, to never give up on them. Use me to demonstrate to them how real and faithful you are. Use me Lord, warts and all.
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