I’ve been born again for quite a while, gave my life to Christ at 13. Then, I was the only member of my family who was a Christian. I’m 21 now, and I’m still the only member of my family who’s a Christian.
It isn’t much fun, I must tell you. I'm not able to share scripture with my siblings, not able to hold their hands and agree in prayer about anything, not because I don’t know how to, but because they wont appreciate it.
I have prayed and prayed, God please save my family. I’ve believed God for this for so long that now, I don’t pray anymore. Maybe that’s wrong, maybe I shouldn’t give up.
It sure does break my heart to see my siblings follow the path of sin, to hear them talk about booze and sex. Can’t they see it’s all so futile? Can’t they see living for God is the only life there is?
Many times, I’ve wondered, is it me? Am I living right? Am I reflecting Christ? Is there something I’m doing wrong? Why do I find it easier to tell my friends and strangers about God than members of my own family? I guess it’s because I’m scared. I don’t want to talk too much about my faith at home because I fear that in the course of living, I may fall short of their expectations of a Christian.
I still lose my temper at home, now and then. I get into moods and once in a while, I`m caught in a lie. Of course, I’m not proud of this `achievements’.I’m fully human and they see that.
But do they see my faith at all? Lord, I wonder. Do they see how I’ve grown in you and how you’ve changed me? Do they really see my faith? If they do, then what’s keeping them from giving their lives to You? For how long will I be the only Christian in my family? For how long will I be the butt of jokes and taunts at home? For how long would I prefer to hang out with my friends at church than with my siblings?
Lord, please give me the strength to keep praying, to never give up on them. Use me to demonstrate to them how real and faithful you are. Use me Lord, warts and all.
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