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Introducing Casper
by Julie Michaelson
02/22/12
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But
ye shall
receive
power,
after
that the
Holy Ghost
is come
upon you.
[Acts 1:8]
***********************
Time: Present Day.
Place: The Heavenly
Throne Room.
Characters: The Father [Gruff Voice];
The Son [Gentle Voice],
Casper [Affectionate Name for The Holy Spirit, only used in The Throne Room];
and Clyde (one of the
Prayer-Messenger Angels).
*****************************
The Throne Room
Door opens. Several
angels, who were just
leaving after being
given their Daily Assignments,
immediately fall to the Gold Tiled Floor,
face-down. A Bright
Light shines in the
Door Way: in walks
a small rounded Person Who
looks as if a white
sheet were draped
over Him, with only
His Big Blue round
eyes showing through
the cut-out holes in
the white sheet. The
small Person doesn't
walk in bare feet,
or ANY feet: He
swishes.
_______________
[Gruff Voice.]
"At EASE,
Angels! You may
all LEAVE.....now!
And.....REMEMBER
your ASSIGNMENTS!
I DON'T WANT ANYBODY
coming back this time, CRYING,
because they couldn't REMEMBER
where to GO! Now....
DISMISSED!"

(Long pause as all
the angels get up
from the Floor, and
bunch up in front of
the Door: big wings
bumping into one
another. One of the
angels stays in the
back of the line: he
turns around to face
both the Thrones.)
"LORD?"

[GENTLE VOICE.]
"Yes, Clyde.
What is it?"

(The angel has a Mail-Badge
embroidered on his travel-gown;
on it is a picture of a plump
brown donkey carrying two big
sacks of mail on either side
of his brown rump.)
"WHERE.... am I supposed to GO?"

[Gentle Sigh.]
"To the Land of the
Alamo, Clyde. Don't
you remember: your
Assignment is to go
and gather up all the
Prayers from last night,
and write them
down on your Prayer
Slips. Then you are
to come back Here,
and present them
to the Prayer-Mail-
Basket angels."

(Clyde squints.
He has smeared too
much sun-block on his
nose in preparation
for Earth-Flight,
and it's making his sensitive eyes water.)
"But.....I've never
BEEN there, LORD!
I'm.....NOT sure....
I know where it IS! I'm always sent
to JUNO*.......,
on Prayer-Slip ASSIGNMENTS!"

[Gruff Voice.]
"CLYDE!
Where is your EARTH-MAP?
You're supposed to
TAKE it WITH YOU!
....On EVERY
Assignment!"

(Clyde squints again;
a clueless look comes
over his angelic-face.)
"I think it's under
my CLOUD-BUNK,
FATHER! I was tryin'
to STUDY it, last night, before I went
to BED, and......"

[Gruff Voice.]
"And,
fell ASLEEP!
Well......go back,
and GET IT! You're
already LATE, as it
IS!

(Clyde squints his
watery eyes shut,
and tries to wipe
some of the excess white
suntan lotion off his
plump cheeks, with the edge of his Traveling-Gown.)
"CAN'T I just go back to JUNO? I'm USED that ROUTE,
LORD! I can always
just DAYDREAM, along the WAY!"

[Gentle Voice,
albeit somewhat stern.]
"No, Clyde.
You have a new
Assignment. You've
been on the Juno-Flight, too long.
The Father wants you to stretch your wings, a bit."

(Clyde squints again;
another clueless look
on his plump face. The suntan lotion is
dripping down his nose; he sneezes.)
"But, I can STRETCH
my wings right HERE!
I don't have to go down to Earth,
at all!"

[Gruff Shout:
Stern and
Impatient.]
"GO!"

[Gentle Sigh.]
[Gentle Voice.]
"Clyde,
listen to Me."

(Clyde's voice is
now weepy.)
"I'm.... LISTENING...
LORD!"

[Gentle Voice:
Patient and Kind.]
"Go back to your
bunk, get the map
from under your mattress, and then
then go get some duck-tape from the
Head-Mail-Angel.....
are you listening?"

(Clyde sniffs, and
nods. His halo is egg-
shaped, with little
sparkly pale-green stars rotating around
its top.)
"Yes, LORD!"

[Gentle Sigh.]
"And, ask the Head-
Mail-Angel to tape
your Earth-Map onto
the front of your gown. Tell him the
Lord says to put duck-tape all around
the edges, and make
sure it is all secure,
and won't fall off.."

(Clyde uses the edge
of his Travel-Gown to
wipe his nose. The suntan lotion on the
gauzy material makes
him sneeze again.)
"But.....suppose I get
LOST? I've never even HEARD of the
Land o' AL`MO!"

[Gruff Voice.]
"DIDN'T YOU TAKE
GEOGRAPHY CLASS,
with Tutor-Angel STUTZ'GARTEN,
last YEAR?"

(Clyde thinks for
a moment. Then he
nods, albeit hesitantly. Some of
his suntan lotion has
dripped onto the Gold Tiled Floor.)
"Yeah.....but.....
I don't REMEMBER
him sayin' nothin'
'bout Land O'AL'MO....
maybe I was in RECESS....
at.... the TIME?"

[GRUFF SIGH.]

(Clyde rubs his bare
left toe against one
of the Gold Tiles; he
bends down and wipes
the suntan lotion off
the tile with another
edge of his Travel-Gown.)
"CAN'T I......have
a travel-BUDDY?
THAT way.....if I
get...LOST....
I won't have one'a
my PANIC attacks!"

[PAUSE.]
[FOR A MOMENT,
BOTH THRONES ARE SILENT.]

[Gentle Voice.]
"Yes,
you MAY."
[Sigh.]
"Tell the Head-Mail
Angel the LORD says to escort you.....and,
to teach you your
new Travel-Route."

(Clyde is still on
the floor: not praying, but wiping
some of the white
smeary lotion from
between his bare toes.)
"Head-Mail-Angel....
Stampa'lino? But....
he's always too BUSY,
LORD!
I don't wanna BOTHER .....him!
Can't I just take
my friend,
Angel Beano? He's
not a Mail-Angel......
but, he LIKES flyin' down to Earth!
Last time, he went to
ANTARCTICA, and....."

[Gruff Shout:
louder than before.]
"GO!
And, TELL ANGEL-
STAMPA'LINO
to give you a GEOGRAPHY TEST,
when you get BACK!
NOW,
GO!"

[Gentle Voice.]
[Gentle Nod.]
"Go,
Clyde.
You'll be in safe
Hands.
Now, go."

(Clyde woefully nods.
He takes the bottle
of Walmart brand Suntan Lotion out of
his gown-pocket, and
twists off the cap. He begins to smear
it on his plump bare arms, and neck.)
"Yes,
Lord.
Yes,
Father."

[Gentle Sigh.]
"You don't NEED
all that LOTION
all OVER you,
Clyde. It's going to
make your wings too
slippery for flight."

(Clyde is busy smearing more white
stuff on his small
forehead.)
"But,
I FRECKLE,
LORD!
I FRECKLE!"

[Gentle Sigh.]
"You're dismissed,
Angel Clyde."

(Clyde nods obediently,
and backs out of
the Throne Room.
He bows again to
the Holy Spirit, and
then, walking backward,
bumps into Head-Mail-Angel Stampa'lino, who has
already appeared at
the Throne Doorway:
duck-tape and Earth-Map, with a big
red star crayoned over the state of Texas, in hand.)

[Gruff Sigh.]
[Gruff Voice,
already impatient
and ornery.]
"What IS it,
CASPER?"

[The Holy Spirit
quietly swishes down
the Golden Tiles
to the Thrones: His
Big Blue Heavenly Eyes wet with tears.]
"FATHER?
SHE'S makin' FUN
a' ME, again!"

[Gruff Voice:
impatient.]
"WHO?"

"Your DAUGHTER...
from the Land of the
ALAMO! SHE keeps
sayin' I'm in her
CELING FAN! She
says I don't know
ANYTHING!
I'M ....JUST A LITTLE WIND!"

[Gentle Voice.]
"She's one of our
HEBREW children,
Casper: in EXILE,
in the Land of the West.
You're going to have to be more PATIENT with her."
[Gentle Pause.]
"She still thinks..........
I was just a Nice
HIPPY."

[Gruff Voice.]
"Oy vey."
[SIGH.]
This is going to
be ......
a Long Day."
********************
And
suddenly
there came
a sound
from heaven
as of a rushing
mighty
wind,
and it
filled
all the house
where they
were sitting.
[Acts 2:1]


*Alaska.

Copyright 2012.

If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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