Many things in marriage, of course, are learned as you go. However, there are other things that need to be learned to some degree, before you wed, that can make or break your marriage. In most cases there is very little or no pre-marital counseling, and the stark reality is that about 40% of even "Christian" marriages are ending in divorce, plus some of the ones that are not are still filled with problems that people never expected. A marriage does not work just because two people are Christians. So, how ready are YOU for marriage?
1. Is your relationship based upon feelings or commitment? If you do not know the difference you are not ready to marry. Sorry.
2. Is you relationship based on love as a feeling, or love as an act of will? Again, if you do not know the difference, there could be big trouble.
3. Are there past unresolved hurts or emotional, relational, or financial issues that neither one of you is disclosing?
4. How do you or the other person handle difficult people or circumstances. Is there a display of destructive anger?
5. Do you both know some basic principles of communicating in order to have positive and constructive conversations?
6. What are each of your views on the Bible, Jesus, God, salvation, church attendance, and any other spiritual or religious issues that need to be discussed?
7. What are your views on handling money?
8. Does at least one of you have marketable skills that will enable you to hold a job providing a reasonably good wage?
9. What are your views concerning headship and submission, and your beliefs regarding husband/wife roles and expectations?
10. Here is the big one: Why are you wanting to get married? To satisfy low self-esteem or some other wound from the past?
How did you do? Are you ready or in a holding pattern?
Read more articles by John Clark or search for articles on the same topic or others.