I went to be an English teacher in China because I felt led of the Lord to go. I hesitated to call myself a missionary. And still there is a good bit of shame.
I met a man and fell into a disastrous relationship, having taken my eyes off of the Lord. I felt like I wasn't measuring up as a Christian. I wasn't getting anyone saved it seemed.
Anyway, that's besides the point. When my unwise relationship became unlawful through sexual sin, that was a load I thought I would crumple under.
I wanted to serve God and love Him and here I was in the middle of filth.
One day, I was particularly distraught. I was crumpled up beside my washing machine and crying, begging for God's help to get out of my mess.
"Lord, don't leave me. Please don't leave. If you do, I'll crumbled up and die."
I put a stop to the relationship (or at least made strides. It's hard, as I found out, to completely severe a soul tie. That took some time.)
I was getting back on track with God.
It was a month later, I believe, laid out across my bed, reading my Bible and I felt this deep impression that God was saying to me, "I will NEVER leave you or forsake you."
Jehovah Shammah. :)
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