Become transparent. You want to know the secret to getting other people to open up? Be transparent. Expose yourself.
One of the ways to get other people to open up is to first open up yourself to them. Let them see you. Create more windows and break down the walls, that is, the barriers that keep people from seeing your weaknesses.
Alot of pastors are closed off. They preach from the position of superiority. They are the authority and if they expose themselves they're afraid that you might not respect them and that you might see them as weak especially if they expose their fears, their insecurities and their failings. The fact of the matter is that the apostle Paul was very transparent and yet well loved. He knew his failings and wasn't afraid to admit that he persecuted the church of God and consented to the death of Christians. He wasn't afraid to talk about his sins. Now there is a certain point where you don't have to get into every detail of your sin but when a person is having trouble in a counseling session opening up, often the key to getting them to reveal themselves and to disclose themselves is by becoming transparent yourself.
In marriage counseling one partner is often afraid to talk about certain aspects of themselves for fear that the wife might look down on him when she discovered how weak he was. The irony is that the wife is often on the verge of leaving him precisely because of his protective walls but when he began to reveal his insecurities she felt needed by him and began to feel tender toward him again.
Women want to be understood. That's why listening to them...when you listen to a woman and they begin to endear themselves to you they begin to think you understand them. They begin to trust you. They begin to follow you. They follow your lead.
Carlton Pruitt ministers the gospel to the Los Angeles area. Formerly a Hollywood actor (SAG member)and junk removal expert he now spends most of his time studying the scriptures, writing articles, hymns and poems and doing street preaching. See his videos on www.YouTube.com LAStreetPreacher. CONTACT at Carlton2061@gmail.com