The Proverbs ThirtyOne Husband
by David Wells
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January 19, 2012 Ė The Proverbs Thirty-One Husband
10 A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman Ė who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls. 10 The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil. Ė Proverbs 31:10-11 AMP
The Proverbs Thirty-One wife is one busy lady. In addition to being a wife and mother, she is a manufacturer, importer, task coordinator, realtor, farmer, seamstress, upholsterer, and merchant. Many wives read these pages and pray continually to achieve such greatness. Others see the achievements as unattainable goals and forget about them completely. But Proverbs Thirty-One is not all about the lady.
First of all, let me point out that the lady mentioned in Proverbs Thirty-One is a wife. She has a husband. She does not have a roommate, domestic partner, or even a live-in boyfriend. Now men, donít go thinking Iím singing your praises and saying that your wife couldnít be a Proverbs Thirty-One wife without your help. I am sure there are some husbands who have started reading this and had this thought just from the title. Such thoughts about wives are wrong in Godís eyes and should never exist in the hearts of men.
How should the heart of a man feel toward his wife? He should trust in her confidently. He should rely and believe in her securely. This is but the first role a Proverbs Thirty-One husband plays in his wifeís life. And yes guys, she could do it without you, but why should she have to? Wouldnít it make things easier for her to attain such lofty heights if you were there to pick her up in the bad times? But the sad truth is that husbands have more confidence and reliance on their friends than their wife. Domineering husbands especially have their wife broken down mentally so much neither the husband nor the wife are ever able to be all God wants them to be. And yes, such things even happen in seemingly Christian households.
I think a big misconception of marriage on the part of husbands has to do with authority. It is Biblical for husbands to be the head of the home. But a family is never meant to be run like the military. Husbands are not drill sergeants. They should never expect their wives and children to bow and salute at his every command, yet Marlo and I have both seen husbands like that. Husbands are supposed to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Men, are you willing to give up your life for your wife? Is her well-being and security more important to you than anything? Thatís how Jesus loved us. He literally gave up His life. Are you willing to do the same for her? Are you willing quit going out with the guys for a night on the town? Are you willing to stop being a self-reliant man and start being a man who puts his wife and children first? God wants you to be that Proverbs Thirty-One husband.
But men, donít think your wivesí greatness stops with trust, reliance, and being the man God wants you to be. Look at these verses, also from Proverbs Thirty-One.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her, [saying] 29 Many daughters have done virtuously, nobly, and well [with the strength of character that is steadfast in goodness], but you excel them all. Ė Proverbs 31:28-29 AMP
This is a mouthful. Husbands, do you boast about your wife? Do you sing her praises every chance you get? Imagine how much more confidence your wife would have if you just told her how proud you were of her. I know men are notorious for looking for a pat on the back whenever they can get it. But does your wife get more praise than you? She should because her well-being is more important than yours. How much more confidence would she have in being a Proverbs Thirty-One wife if you were there praising her every step of the way instead of complaining about your socks not matching?
Wives donít be discouraged. My wife Marlo has always been the Proverbs Thirty-One wife but I was too blind to see it. I am living proof that the husband need not be involved in his wife being that lady. But it is so much easier for her now. It is easier because she has a husband who thinks of her well-being. It is easier because I do praise her. It is easier because she knows that I trust and rely on her. It is because of her character and integrity that I am known in the city gates when I sit among the elders of the land (Proverbs 31:23).
Husbands, it is time to get it right. Be the Proverbs Thirty-One husband. I speak the entire passage of the Proverbs Thirty-One wife over Marlo every night before I fall asleep. I donít do it because Iím speaking in faith, hoping she will one day be one. I say it because she is all those things and even more to me. I say it because I have found a capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman. And like the Proverb says, she is far more precious than jewels, and her value is far above rubies or pearls.
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I have never heard this application of Proverbs 31. It's an amazing insight and oh so true. I'm not a wife yet myself, but have ambitions of being like the Proverbs 31 woman, so I'm in training. I can understand the difficulty of being this kind of woman if a husband was not appreciative or helpful. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know how unique this article was and what a great job you did!