This woman doesn't wish you well, and Ahab doesn't either.
Their condemnation and hard yokes refuse you every breather.
They're devils of infirmity that do not want you well.
Therefore they gladly torture you with flaming tongues from hell.
A fever and a pitchfork, thorns and thistles, firebrands,
Angry stones of condemnation tossed from cloven hands.
Such weapons do these wraiths employ to set your life off course,
With cutting and divisive words, harsh forces of divorce.
"It's God will that you suffer so; this is your cross to bear.
You must placate my every whim or languish in despair.
I'm sick, you see, a poor old hag who does deserve your pity
While primly on your pedestal you sit so very pretty.
How can you let your heart of stone so callously ignore
The needs of this poor lady who lies groveling on your floor?"
And that is how fierce Jezebel makes eunuchs for her court.
Destroying their fertility, each child she does abort
While Ahab in his sullenness does prompt to suicide.
"No one loves you, no one cares, you've got no place to hide."
His storming whirlwind torments, ever doubting, ever sly.
With sticky thumb his pilfered plumb line urges you to die.
So how do you fight Ahab and his wife to heal the pain,
Your life once more revive and your fecundity regain?
The best way and the surest is to throw down Jezebel
By standing firm against her all controlling witchcraft spell.
Do not let her intimidate, do not let Ahab's sorrow
Deceive you into giving up your hope for new tomorrow.
You must resist those who insist on having their own rule,
And stand against the rants of the religious leaders cruel
Who tell you to stop preaching truth in Jesus' mighty name.
Toss down their lies and compromise as you lift up His fame.
Those crippled in their faith will thank you once they've been set free,
From wishy-washy living into perfect liberty.
I Kings 16:31 - 19:3 & 21:1-24; II Kings 9:1-17; Isaiah 58:6-14 and 61:3; Malachi 4:2; Acts 5:29 and Revelation 2:20-24
Hi Nancy. Thank you for your thoughtful critique on “Yoshisaurus.” I wish I could do something with the fan fiction but odds that won’t be possible (without God’s hand) because of copyright issues that I should have considered before starting it. Maybe I could still use parts of it with different characters though.
Impressive poem! The flow was euphonious and about perfect in rhythm. I liked how you used Jezebel and Ahab as examples of negative thought patterns/spiritual attacks. Great word choices, internal rhymes, alliteration, and word pictures. All around a high quality poem and one that felt professional.
Suggestion: This line “Angry stones of condemnation tossed from cloven hands” felt like it was off by two beats. It might sound better if you inserted “that are” between “condemenation” and “tossed” or put a comma after condemnation.
I’ll have to read more of your work some time. God bless!