TO UNDERSTAND AND DEAL WITH BULLYING
by Denise Isaac
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I watched the Oprah Winfrey's show on "Bullies" a while ago and I said to myself, what a shame that the school and our society have become such a place of fear, uncertainties, disappointments and confusion for some people, rather than a place to build up their faith and momentum to overcome any obstacle. It is the same way in the church and in this world internationally. Things have gotten so out of control and with such a lack of reverence for anything good or decent, that we have lost the true values of what is worthy and right anymore. There is a low morale, lack of confidence, distrust and a rare encounter of those with morals or the desire to maintain any for life or their own.
Here is a book (Bible) that has been on the bestseller's list for many decades and on many renowned shelves even now but yet we have ignored its contents or even having a desire to at least open it to agree or disagree. If there is something good that can be used to improve a situation, then why not make the effort at all cause, to use it. You continue to seek elsewhere for answers and another best seller, while you refuse to adhere to the one that has topped them all for centuries, 'til this day. People have "never" been content enough to accept the righteousness of the time that we live, for they have always sort other means, fads, music, companions, fantasies, or anything new to appease this flesh of ours. You tend to want the fame or popularity that society tells you is what shapes your lives and also will have others to embrace, accept and love you. If you do not first love yourself then there is no one anywhere who could do it for you.
You cannot blame the "bullies" fully, for people have allowed the system, the media, your so-called homies, clicks, society, schools and whatever have been permitted to be released as the truth, that you believe in; to dictate, confirm, write, speak, and to authenticate your being, while in the process losing one self, regardless of the wrong taught. The Bible states that faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God (Bible-Rom. 10:17). What they hear is what they do. What they see is what they want. What they know is what they say. What they do is what they believe. This society has allowed so much corruption in certain areas while shutting their eyes to the corruptions in other areas that should and needs to be addressed. You cannot let others dictate to you what you already know is right regardless of the majority. If you lose yourself you lose everything else that is worth the essence of your living/being.
No one can take from you the things you hold true and dear except you release yourself, beliefs and standards over to them. You MUST maintain a sense of belonging within yourself knowing that you too are here for a purpose and a right to be. Entertainers participating in various acts of crimes and sins, your poor taste in music, dress codes and explicit materials, parents befriending their children to engage in similar riotous activities, ministers committing and justifying sin and wrongdoings, and shacking up has become such a way of life that no one trusts anyone to say will you marry me and mean it; same sex marriages, babies being adopted like changing clothes and thrown away like garbage, for monetary gain, instead of keeping and bearing their own responsibilities. Abortions on the rise in masses because of sexual sins or just not ready for parenthood. Hate has become an epidemic and we avoid people like the swine flu. Children see parents bullying and fighting each other as well as name calling. The parents are committing violence against the children, as well as each other. The neighbors hate neighbors and the lack of respect for one another is prevalent. Violence is rapid and out of control, that our death rate has surpassed the enormous number of the stars in the sky on a daily basis. Porn stores and movies have become a #1 hot spot, like a soothing day spa. So how do we expect the bullies to have the right mindset, or to have anything or anyone to follow, that would alter the hate that lies within them and for others?
You shut your eyes and pretend you did not see what you saw when your eyes were open before you shut them. You lie, deny and justify the wrongs to escape the consequences that are unavoidable regardless. Bullies do what they see others do while not having an identity of their own. They really do not want to do it but what is there to say to them that it is wrong? There is no one who wants to get involved for whatever their lame reason or to say to them that it makes you a weak and misguided person to impose your SELF HATE WITH ANGER, or release your hate towards another. BULLIES are under the influence of a bad behavior, mindset or spirit that has dictated to them this quality of life to embrace and call it good and acceptable, by those who stand by and allow it (conspirators/instigators). They do not have a life so they take a life to replace their own lives through the lives of those who they attack. They see the reaction of their action to learn the way of escape to fit in with the other bullies and the lie that have been told to them. Bullies are sick minded people who have failed to understand the value of their lives and others. They have no true directions, love, or purpose for living themselves other than taking the life from another, holistically.
Bullies are “Brutes-Under-Low-Life-Yolks”. They are yoked up by a low life style, whether it's physical, financial, emotional, spiritual, and relational or the likes, but there is a deficit in their make-up that tends to surface and say prove to people that you are not as such. They find a weak individual as them to appear strong to the onlookers but yet afraid to deny the voices within of hate towards self and others, that influences them on a continual basis. They are so weak that when the voice of attack comes to them to attack, they lose control without thinking soundly enough to know or understand what they are about to do is so wrong and out of character for someone who is sensible. A bully is not the person's problem but their own by not recognizing or realizing that they (bullies) are just as vulnerable, weak, scared and dumbfounded but have no other means of coping appropriately. Bullies are self destructive so they seek ways to project that behavior on to others seeking release and peace but never finding it, for confusion could NEVER bring about a peaceful state. The victims need the confidence to know their own self worth and value.
This is the same technique that the enemy uses with Christians when they do not know who they are in Christ. They do not understand the price that was paid for their release from pressure, failure, low self esteem and confidence. Parents must teach their children to know who they are and to believe in them self from the womb. The internet has replaced the babysitter, as well as real family time and true parenting techniques. No supervision for fear of being rewarded the worse parent of the year, or a runaway child. The television has become the tool for proper guidance in-spite of knowing the filth, propaganda and lies that it spits out every minute and rapidly. The system telling parents how to raise their children instead of dealing with the feeble minded, known perpetrators and the abusers who they (system) failed to follow up on during their pregnancy. Children are abusing, using and bullying parents because of this, and reversing the practice of parenthood but silenced. Parents of today are being bullied by their own children and children of others due to fear themselves, a lack of knowledge and fear of a failed system. The children must know, respect and trust you and vice versa parents. It is your responsibility to educate and demonstrate the right ways of coping, living, and understanding the principles that are available for thriving and having confidence in oneself, as well as one another righteously.
Until you know who you are and whose you are, you will continue to struggle in areas of identification syndromes. You should stop patterning your-self after fads, entertainers, popular people and go back to the bestseller (Bible) and run after that author. He (God/Christ) is the Creator of us all and it is He who knows just what we all need, want, like and dislike but we fail to trust Him because we cannot see Him, but you trust those you see even though you see the filthiness and unrighteousness in operation from them on a daily basis. You trust what the bully says and does to you. Am I allowed to identify that as a fool? When you act foolishly, then you cannot accept to see no more than foolishness from those around you. Parents your children will pattern after your lifestyle and NOT what you say. Parents hating and fighting during the week and then on Sunday morning again; you later insist that they go with you to the place they see as mad and confusing because of you. They cannot see God, they do not know God, so because of the drama, they do not want, trust, know or love God. They reject God, you and others, including them. There has to be an example showing better ways and techniques to deal with life's situations, people, problems and circumstances.
You continue to do things in front of and for the children that are not conducive to a strong foundation of love and acceptance for one self. Parents keeping up with the Jones and fads, putting gold teeth and earrings and the likes on children because everybody else is doing it, no chastisement because fear of rejection from a "child," so you have already imparted a spirit of weakness and acceptance of wrong behaviors because you do it. Yet you expect your child to respond differently. The bully represents Satan. He comes to steal, kill and destroy your life, plans, joy, faith, peace, and most of all your destiny and purpose in life. Somebody everywhere must lift up a non compromising standard to defeat this beast that has been released to do this damage to our nation, churches and families, especially our children. You must stop and rethink about your own actions and teachings in order for you to be able to teach anyone else constructively and righteously. Why do you do and say what you do?
Are you a person that must be accepted by all and fit in-No Matter What it takes? Have you lost control as an adult? Are you a responsible supervisor of not only your own but others you see in distress or misguided? It is not hard to do but hard to believe. The madness has to stop and you need to be the one who "stops" the madness around you. Love your children and people period. Stop discussing bad things about any people in others presence, especially children. Deal with situations head on and righteously, regardless of who it is. Be honest about what you feel and know, regardless of who disagree since you know it is RIGHT. Bring proper corrections when needed and explain why. Learn to be a peacemaker and not a peace breaker or confusion maker. "TRUST" the Lord God in every aspect of your life and see if you do not obtain the goals set for your life's dream and family. Be observant to see changes that would warrant attention. Be a pace setter and go getter, not a follower or a lazy sitter. Follow after what is right and not what is wrong regardless of who calls. Be who you are and not what you feel people want you to be. Find the real you and live with that righteously. I am not talking about whom you chose to be but what you were created to be and do. Be the best that you can be for yourself and others. You need to be the first domino that tilts the scale towards righteousness, having confidence with an impeccable way of life, showing your standards that cannot be denied or questioned ever.
When you do not know what to do in a time of pressing matters, stop pressing and begin resting. Be still, for there is a still small voice you need to hear from inside you, at that time, so you must hear and obey the voice in its entirety. Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord. Stand still and know your God. The Word of God states that he who knows their God shall be strong and do exploits (Dan. 11:32).
Where is the love (agape)? Make a difference today and "STOP" the bullies from invading your turf (wherever you go or around), and that includes your worse hater (Satan). He is as real as life itself. Be not deceived. Make the choice to do better in life and towards others -NO MATTER WHAT!
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I like your definition of bullies: Brutes Under Low Life Yolks. Your article is packed full of good points. Thanks for sharing.