Some amazing words for the New Year
by James Snyder
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Every year somebody, who does not really have a life, comes up with words that should not be used during the New Year. I am not sure where this started but it just goes to show that there are a whole lot of people who do not have much to do.
Topping the list this year of words not to be used is the word "amazing." Allegedly [which I think is one word that should not be used this year], 1500 people voted to ban the word "amazing."
I think it is rather amazing that out of the 312,867,000 people living in the United States, 1500 people tell us what not to say. Who are these 1500 people? What do they have against the word "amazing?" Have they ever seen anything that was actually amazing?
Of all the words I would like to see canceled during this year, "amazing" is not one of them.
A few words have come to my attention that I would like to eliminate for the coming year. I know I am only one person but by Jehoshaphat, I am going to have my say.
The first word I would like to see banned would be, "caucus." I have no idea what this word means. Sure, I can look it up in the dictionary and find out what it is supposed to mean, but when used in the political arena, I am all confused. It would surprise me if some of the commentators that use the word knew exactly what it means. After all, it takes all their concentration to read the teleprompter.
Yet, this word is employed in the process of determining who will be the nominee for the political office of President of the United States. I think it is interesting that in order to get to the White House every politician needs to start with a Native American caucus. Of all objecting in using this word, the Native Americans should be the loudest.
Another word I would like to see banned for the year is the word "polling." It seems no politician can do anything without first doing some polling. They will spend millions of dollars doing this polling. I would not mind so much if they did not call me on the telephone and waste my time. If everybody whom they call on the telephone in their polling was as sarcastic as I am, I do not put any faith in their polling at all. Mr. Politician, call me at your peril.
Contemporary politicians would not know what day of the week it was if it was not for the latest poll. Even though the Creator gave each politician two legs to stand on, they are always switching from one leg to the next. Now I know why a politician has a left foot and a right foot.
The only natural thing that lives by polls is a polecat. There may be some resemblance here.
The word "earmarks," is another one I would like to see banned for this coming year. A politician without his or her earmarks is like a skunk without his stink. If you take a skunk, you are going to have to put up with his stink.
I guess the politician needs to do something with his or her ears for they certainly are not employed in hearing anything from their constituents. If a politician insists on earmarks, I think we ought to do some marking of their ears.
When I was a youngster in school, my teachers found a wonderful use for my ears. Whenever they wanted me to do something, they would grab me by the ears and jerk me into the right direction. Where are those teachers when you really need her? I would like to help them with their ear jerking operation. I know. Let's call it the Ear Jerking Operation (EJO).
One final word I would like to see obliterated is the word "party." Especially when associated with something political. Let's face it. The political world is just one great big party after another, usually, at someone else's expense. If I could go to a party with somebody else sponsoring it and paying for it, I guess I would go to.
Whenever somebody asks me which political party I belong to I usually respond by saying, "The birthday party." At a birthday party, at least you get to eat cake and sometimes in the excitement get a little bit on your face. At political parties, everybody is eating their own words and ending up with egg on their face.
If are going to have a party let's make it a birthday party where everybody is invited and everybody gets a slice of cake. Make that two slices of cake.
I suppose there would be a whole lot of other words I could add to my list but there is one word I am not going to ban and that is God's Word. There is nothing more amazing to me than the relevance of God's word in my life today. One word I love is, "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6).
I am quite content to allow God have the last word in my life. I have found it to be amazingly true.
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