You didn’t carry my burden so you may not understand my praise.
You didn’t fight my battle
Didn’t plead my case
Alone in a room..Eyes swollen shut, limbs weak,
Desiccated tears chisel a path to anguish cold, lonely…..deep.
Darkness so bleak, like cheap jailhouse coffee
Bitterness suffocating the sweet
Held captive in my mind
A fiery noose choking life from my soul
Bars of pain, a prisoner in my own home, 3 thousand square feet of agony
Beaten, broken, abandoned and left to die alone
Longing for my assailant, I had clearly lost my mind,
Impregnated, grief stricken……spiritually blind…
Emotionally arrested, motionless, immobilized by fetters of defeat
Shame and guilt….. were the shackles that bound me
Friends arrive bear platters with the abundance of inconsolable words
Fragmented sound fall upon deaf ears.
Glazed looks, unconscious stares,
Ever scan your surroundings and wonder how you got there????
Running a race without a single contender
Hitting brick walls,……Winded!
Swinging in the dark, clawing in the night
Accustomed to the darkness
Intimidated by the light
A chosen life of exile, my fate for the choices I’ve made.
Renouncing my heritage, casting my crown, shunning my father…hell-bound!
Peace confiscated, joy reposed,
Placed a lien on my salvation,
to say the least, I was a MESS
Hijacked self esteem numbness drowning out inaudible screams!
Lifeless breath, asthmatic wheeze,
As I gasped for air, the tighter he squeezed…
Sin is a mean man and he don’t fight fair
Ever scan your surroundings and wonder when you got there????
Reality losing its grip, no longer able to fight…. the voices in my head surround me declaring that life ends tonight…
I only shared a snippet, so you may not fully understand my praise.
Or recognize that I am declaring victory with every hand that I raise.
The strong hands of mercy plunge into the abyss
Brings warmth to my lifeless body, heals my sin sick soul?
Mouth to mouth, resuscitating breaths
Rhythm-less heart finds tempo once more.
Beauty for ashes is what He bore
The oil of joy for mourning
The spirit of heaviness exchanged for a beautiful garment of praise
Oh what a glorious day when Jesus called my NAME
Every leap is a testimony; every twirl shouts His praise,
Did I mention that I declare victory with every hand that I raise!?
How could I not dance before the King who came to rescue me?
When every sway of my body is reminiscent of His Mercy!
Every arch in my spine, every pivot of my toes, bellows a song of adoration that no one else knows.
As I close my eyes I envision my King and I give Him my best as my recovering heart sings…GLORY HALLELUJIAH….. I’ve been redeemed!
And as if no one is watching, I dance for an audience of one; I give reverence to the father as I worship the son!
But I’m only rehearsing, for the time will soon come
When I dance with my Father as He holds me in His arms.
So when you see me dancing, just smile and say, she moves to the sound of redemption, and she looks better this way. © Adfali 1-2011
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