I turned around and saw his disappointed face. I wanted so much to wipe his tears away. Every tear drop was a pain in his heart. It was so immense that it took a while for me to finally get a grip of myself. I know I could not be much help but to stare on his sad teary face. All I could do was to be there. My presence brings him much joy and happiness. At least he knows that he is not alone.
Whenever he goes, I go. When the light comes, Iíll be there by his side to give him cheer. When darkness looms over, Iíll be silent enough for his whispered words to grace unto my lending ear. I wonder what is he thinking of right now as he lean his back against the wall thinking out loud with his both hands in his pockets as if they could protect him from all the troubles and problems that daunt on him. Yes, all I could do is stare on. And yes, I am a good companion and a great listener. But my words seem to be out of reach to his unwilling ear. No existing literacy and linguistics could describe what he feels. His wrinkled forehead of worry and watery eyes paint the canvas of understanding of what sorrow and pain is all about.
His doubts are banging on the rusty barred gates in his sane mind. With each clanking come more doubts as some manage to creep into the gardens of peace and tranquility turning over flower pots and flower beds meant to preserve harmony and balance. Even the sunlight and rainbow looks gloomy in this moment of agony and frustration. In the back of his mind, there lay an innocent child curled up in a fetus position shying away from every shadowy movement of the outside world. The light blinds him but the darkness scares him. The four walls of his room kept him consecrated and safe. But this drywall canít last forever. The paint is peeling off from its ancient glow. The broken planks only added dread to the forlorn room. Even the door gave out a funny odor of degrading rustic and termite-infected solecism. The evil and darkness tried its best to barge into the room to get to the child. The child is the total opposite of what they are. The child was a major threat for them. They know what he is capable of. Unfortunately, the child does not. As the feeling of being overpowered becomes overwhelming, all he could do was to stay strong and resilient. After all, the trusty door and walls are still able to carry out its function. I do what I can. I would drive away the darkness if I could but my capability is just so limited. I feel so useless and such a failure. What is the purpose of my existence if I could not help my best friend?
I try to reach out as far as I could but to no avail. We are apart even if we are one at heart. I would like to let him know that resistance is futile. He should learn to embrace the darkness but still remain as he is. It is the same darkness that makes him who he is today. It is what makes him different, makes him stronger. If only he knows, he could have done it all over again just like he did before so many times previously. He just couldnít see that it was still the same darkness but in his eyes it is so intimidating. To him, it is as if a monster is raging inferno in his little piece of heaven making it darker and darker integrating him into his own oblivion. But all I could do is to stand by him. Loyal as I am, I am still but an acknowledgement of silence by his side. If there could be a chance for us to meet in a parallel universe, I would gladly trade everything I possess, including my existence. I would rather be shattered into fragments than to see my friend suffering from devastation. Each blow is getting closer to his internal death. I would face Deathís punches to rescue my friend from this self-incinerating pit.
Inflict all the pain towards me. Leave my friend alone. He does not deserve all this. Mister Reaper, you can save your energy. Your sickle scares me no more as long as I have my friend by my side. I will not let anything harm him. Curse to the mockery. Damn the insults. I am like a sponge that will absorb all this negativity. I am like you. I am darkness. But one thing that discriminate me from you is that I have a best friend and all you have is an empty soul of black hole leeching on other doomed souls. So you canít have my friend. He is not doomed. He is just lost and confused. He needs the healing touch of time. He needs a little dash of my assistance and a sprinkle of my presence to remind him the truth. My love for him is platonic and everlasting. After all, we are one together with the body and spirit. I am but a humble servant of the universe. I offer up myself to my master, my friend, my love. He may not see me as what I see in him. But deep down I know for sure he is counting on me. I know we would one day come to a mutual stand where we can hug and embraced both ourselves into solemnity and camaraderie. We are a bond that could never be broken according to the laws of the universe. I am him, at least a part of him or an extension from his soul. I am nothing without him living. I am his silent shadow whispering in my own words passing over a fleeting light.
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