I had this dream the other night. I was driving and the roads were very icy. Something that doesn't happen too often in this area. There were trucks out putting stuff on the roads but you could still see the ice in some places. As I was driving, my car began to spin out of control. I began to scream. I could see the ice, the trucks, but yet I wasn't hitting anything. I was just waiting for my car to straighten back up, and I kept turning my steering wheel, but I had no control over the situation. I woke up.
A few days later, my son decided to get his ear pierced. He has already gotten multiple tattoos on him without my permission. It's been one battle after another. His attitude now is I'm 18 and I'm gonna do what I want to do. Well, I told him he couldn't come back in my house until he took the earring out. Enough was enough. I'm tired of the rebellion and the attitude and constant friction between us. Everything turns into an argument. So, I told him he could stay with my mother until he decided to take it out. My heart just hurt because the grandbaby has to stay with my mother also since I work at night. All I could do was cry. I questioned myself over and over, was I being too irrational. According to the world, "it's JUST an earring." But I felt like it was more than that. It's the blatant disregard of the word of God and His standards. It's the attitude behind it. It feels like a slap in the face and like he's saying, see I can do whatever I want to do and you can't do nothing about it. Well, that's true.
God was showing me to deal with the situation just as He would. When we sin against God and break His commandments. When we hold onto things that are not of Him, we can't just come into His presence any old kind of way. We have to come with some repentance and godly sorrow. You see my son said he felt really bad for doing what he done, but refuses to take the earring out! Alot of times, we admit our wrongs but refuse to change with our actions. How many times have we heard "actions speak louder than words." In reality, the reason he won't take it out is because he wants to return home and not wear it, but go to my mothers on the weekend and put it back in.
All I could think about was this dream during all this. The situation is out of my control, but I know God has it in control. My car never hit anything or went off the road. I have to trust that God will guide me through these slippery times. Just as God's heart hurts until we come back to Him, so my heart hurts until my son returns back home. I'm praying that God will deal with him this next month while he's away at my mothers. I'm praying that my trust and faith will grow stonger in the Lord as I wait upon Him in expectation.
Thanx for all those who have been praying for me and my family.
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