A young friend recently posed this question to me:
"Are there “soulmates”? Does the Bible say anything one way or the other?"
That’s an excellent question, a question that sells a lot of books, drives internet sites and leads to many screwed up relationships.
The Bible does not mention “soulmates” directly, but it does have a lot to say about relationships.
The common idea of a soulmate is that for every person, there is another person who is a perfect fit, and if you marry anyone other than this soulmate, you will never be happy. Is this concept of a soulmate biblical? No, it is not. The soulmate concept is often used as an excuse for divorce. People who are unhappy in their marriage sometimes claim that they did not marry their soulmate and therefore should divorce and begin the search for their true soulmate. This is nothing more than an excuse, a blatantly unbiblical excuse.
Real life is not the fairy tale many think it should be. There is no “absolutely perfect” person out there for any relationship, let alone a marriage. Working relationships take a heck of a lot of work. They’re not a 50/50 deal. That’s more like a business transaction than a relationship.
When we go into a relationship such as marriage expecting the fireworks and smooth sailing to go on forever we are setting ourselves up for certain failure. The fireworks fade and there are lots of bumps in the road. We end up with starter marriages, pre-nups and “shacking up” to see how things work.
The Bible does say much about this, however. God created man and woman to complement one another. And in Genesis 2, He established the covenant of marriage. Jesus speaks to this in Mark 10:7-9:
7 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.
THIS is God’s idea of soulmates. The complete, unconditional love God designed for the marriage doesn’t mean everything will be perfect. He means that each gives 100% unconditionally and unselfishly. After 43 years of marriage, I assure you that isn’t easy to do.
But if you want God’s idea of a soulmate, it’s the one He finds for you… imperfect though they will be.