Previously posted in the 'Free to Reprint' section 9th September 2008. Reposting here for those of you who haven't had a chance to read it as yet. Please share with others. God bless!
Is Your Marriage on Shaky Grounds?
by Janice S Ramkissoon
"The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My [God's] purpose is to give life in all its fullness" (St. John 10:10 NTL).
Is your marriage on shaky grounds?
Do you feel like the only solution to your marital problem is separation?
The devil is a liar. He knows it and takes pride in the fact that he's crowned the king of deception he'll have you believe your marriage is over. And that's his sole purpose on earth--to deceive. You cannot allow this deception to become your reality. The enemy didn't want you to get married in the first place, so he will try everything possible to have your marriage dissolved. But be encouraged today: God promised you life, not death. So do not believe the lies that the enemy brings to destroy your marriage. It's time to claim your marriage back, in Jesus' name.
If you have been going through the motions, now is the time to start the process of re-kindling the flames. Don't wait for your spouse to make the first move. You are ONE and the end result will benefit you both.
God promised you life in all its fullness. But the devil had you all confused. You believe this life is not for you, never was and never will be. So you settle for 'just getting by'; playing the survival game. You embrace the struggle and refuse to let go. You're not happy, but for a peaceful life, you keep quiet and continue with the chores.
God promised you life in all its fullness (St. John 10:10) and His promise is true. What He says, He'll do. Claim it in Jesus' name. Believe on His Word and it will come to pass. Being on shaky grounds, it will be hard work trying to reclaim your marriage, but it can be done, if you are doing it in His strength and not yours. So make up your mind to put on the whole armour of God, according to Ephesians 6:10-18, and go claim what is rightfully yours.
If your spouse is not walking in the light or the devil seems to have grabbed hold of your children, you can claim back what is yours. You often hear: 'Take back what the devil has stolen from you.' Now, it is time to believe it and receive it. Claim your husband or wife back--Get down on your knees and intercede on behalf of your spouse. The devil is a liar and he is very convincing with it, so you can easily fall prey to his ways if you are not fully focused on the ways of Christ.
Consult the Word of God for your daily guide. That will help you keep God centre of your marriage and look to God for all the answers, instead of running to man. Men will always let you down. "Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart" (Colossians 4:2).
Your weakness in Christ is the energy source by which the enemy's power is charged. Therefore, it is vital that you put on the whole armour of God--the entire outfit, in order to defeat the enemy.
"What God joins together let no one put apart". Take your spouse back. Rediscover the emotions that first brought you together--claim your love back! If your union have been blessed with the gift of a child or children, things may not always run smooth at home but don't allow it to kill your marriage.
Your marriage needs to take priority, after God. This is the foundation that keeps your children grounded. A stable marriage will produce more rounded and focused children; it is a fertilizer for their growth which produces confidence in them. They learn from example. Home is the number one training ground for their developing minds.
If your marriage is unstable it is the children who suffers most. When the parents aren't happy in their relationship they cannot offer full parental care. Therefore, children will get neglected in one or more areas of their lives. This neglect will follow them into their adult years and history often repeats itself. If either parent were neglected as a child this is where the 'buck' should stop. Now that you are adults you know what scars you bear from your unstable home. It is time to deal with it, release it and move on into a new future so that you can be the best parent to your children. They should not pay for what your parents did to you. They are a blessing to you and they are entrusted in your care until they can care for themselves.
As a mother, I know that if the mother is not well, the entire family suffers and so it is important that mother is taken care of. This is where the husband needs to set an example for his children, sons in particular. The role of the husband is to lead in his home, caring for his wife and children, providing for them and protecting them. This role involves showing respect for his wife and being sure to cater to her physical, emotional and spiritual needs. In all this, being careful to represent Christ in his decisions and knowing that he will give an account to God for his action. We are reminded of this in Colossians 3:19 "You husbands must love your wives and never treat them harshly." To neglect his duty in this area can find that there is a role reversal in the home which is a perfect recipe for placing a marriage on shaky grounds.
The wife is then called to honour her husband and enrich his life. Again, in Colossians 3:18 the wife is given an order: "You wives must submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord." She should give her husband no reason to distrust her as Proverbs 31:10 highlights. It is her duty to help him all his life and not hinder him from carrying out his role, in any way. "When she speaks, her words are wise and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions" (Proverbs 31:26).
It is then a combined role, as parents, to cater for the children's need in a similar manner. When you train up your children, according to God's instructions, it becomes easier for them to submit to the teachings of Colossians 3:20, which states: "You children must always obey your parents, for this is what pleases the Lord."
It is important to dedicate the children to God and continually pray for them; placing them under the protection of Jesus Christ. If they stray from the right path, claim them from the hands of the devil and his angels (they won't wander too far, if you have done your part, in training them up according to the instructions in the bible). Children are gifts from God and should be treated as such. So care for them and train them up in the way they should grow/go, as we are reminded to do, in Deuteronomy 6:6-7 and again in Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21. See your children as blessings of your union the fruit of your love. And allow this knowledge to pull you closer together and to God the One who presented you with the gift of a child or of children.
Give God thanks for the work He is doing in your marriage and allow Him to complete the work, in His timing. There are many lessons to learn on this journey and the process cannot be rushed or the value in the lesson will be lost, and healing will be delayed. Soon you'll be making the same mistakes again and facing similar consequences. When your marriage is back on track, keep praising God and He will continue to pour out His blessings on you. It will then train you up for when the rough patches return. Therefore, with your grateful heart springing constant praise, the struggles won't have an opportunity to develop or linger, should they return.
Men: Be happy with the wife of your youth--she's a delicate flower.
Ladies: Respect the man God blessed you with--He is your leader.
To both of you: I encourage you to continue loving each other the way God intended and do not fall prey to the tricks set to trap you. I pray God's blessings upon your marriage and may you have many happy moments with each other.
Copyright 2008, Janice S Ramkissoon