Can you feel me?
The uneasy feeling you experience is me hiding inside!!
Yes, I came unexpectedly!
But donít be sad, you knew this was possible as you lay secretly with dad.
I can sense your concerns whether to let me live or die. Mommy, I know you're scared but so am I.
I want to live! My soul, do keep.
I want to live! Oh mommy awaken from your sleep.
ďItís safer to abort than to give birth, they say. Canít you see youíve become the enemyís prey?
Do you really think they care for your well-being? Thereís something else youíre just not seeing!
Thatís what THEY want you to think. But itís a trap from the enemy for your soul to sink.
He will enslave you the moment I die, with guilt and shame that will kill you inside.
Wake up and see the lie; in the midst of abortion, not only I, but YOU also die!!
Abortion is a very sensitive topic for both those who have experienced going through it as well as those who had a part in the deciding factor.
I personally have never aborted a pregnancy but I have experienced the guilt and shame just as much as if I did when I sat praying in a waiting room while my daughter did.
As a Christian mother I played a role in deciding the fate of what I saw as a mistake. My daughter was young and mentally challenged making it nearly impossible for her to care for a baby. My mind raced with every possible reason to justify the action we were undertaking.
I remember that day so clearly. It was about thirteen years ago as I walked towards the clinic where protestors had gathered holding posters with horrific images of an aborted fetus. I quickly turned my eyes from these images as we made our way passed them. The moment I entered the building there was a darkness that loomed and a stench of death that turned my stomach as I saw the multitude of young and older women waiting for their turn.
I took a seat alongside my daughter wondering if she even had a clue of what we were about to do. How could she understand? All she knew was what I had convinced her to believe. My heart was aching and plagued with guilt. "Oh Lord, please forgive us, forgive ME!" were the words my soul was crying.
I spent the next few hours praying and interceding for all who were sitting in the place I was of guilt and shame.
This experience haunted me as a Christian because I knew I was an accomplice to murder. To be honest I was the one who committed murder by taking my daughter's right and exercising mine as a concerned mother. I struggled with un-forgiveness towards myself. The enemy made a point in reminding me of the sin that was murdering my spirit - keeping me from the truth of God's forgiveness. Ultimately I found deliverance from the guilt and embraced restoration.
Today, abortion has become an alternative that is explored by many as a means to end a problem or erase a mistake. Whether itís by means of carelessness (unprotected sex); a decision imposed by others to abort (parent or partner); or by means of a violent act against a woman (rape) - aborting the pregnancy is not the answer. Others and the enemy will have us think itís the best solution not only for the woman but for the child, just as I was deceived to think it was best for both my daughter and her baby.
The problem with that thought process is that we don't consider the guilt and shame we carry each moment. It is a means to kill you too. I know I was dying inside. My spirit was chained. This is the greater work of the enemy: to kill the baby and destroy you.
It's time to see the truth of abortion. As hard as it is to hear, it is murder. It is not an alternative but giving the baby up for adoption is. Giving the child an opportunity to live requires that we love beyond our own selfishness. I've heard women say that they cannot bear knowing that their child is somewhere in this world being raised by another woman. Therefore itís easier to bear the pain of abortion. That, my dear, is a lie from the father of lies. It is not, believe me!!! If I had the opportunity to do it all over again, I would have either placed the baby for adoption or have trusted enough in God to help me raise it myself.
Nonetheless I was forgiven for my trespass and just the same He forgives those who were pressed into the same option. If you are one of those women who have experienced abortion, know that as you confess and repent, God will forgive you. Do not allow the enemy to keep you imprisoned any longer! For those who are in a position in which they have considered abortion, to you I say: reconsider. Do not fall for the lie because in doing so you too will experience a death within. There are other options Ö seek God for direction and take courage that the Lord will give you the strength and means. There is no sin in giving your baby a chance to live by putting them up for adoption. The sin comes with not giving them the chance to live.
This was a very hard article for me to write. Even as I typed, the tears flowed Ö but they were one of thankfulness because despite my error, the Lord has forgiven me. Thank you Lord!
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Very powerful, and 'thoughtfully' written. Great message and advice for those who can relate, or are touched by this subject.
Heartwrenching - with so much truth in it. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I pray it changes many minds.