Let me just say that my dad is far more than any words could ever describe. As a young boy I loved to take things apart just to see how they worked and my dad not only allowed me to engage in such activities but even when it was often things I probably should leave well alone, he would encourage and teach me how they worked.
My dad who hates to throw anything away had every possible thing that a young boy like me could take apart and investigate its inner workings. Now this did from time to time come at a cost. I remember this old black and white TV (there were several to choose from) that I pulled down from the attic and began to take apart, now mind you it was not plugged in during this stage of the operation but little did I know that there was a black box inside that when shorted against the metal picture tube could release thousands of volts of stored electricity which I soon discovered after finding that high voltage will make every single muscle in your body contract at a rate faster than the speed of light which in turn can send a body flying across the bedroom fast enough that you will hear the sonic boom, or maybe that was the sound of my body hitting the wall, just another lesson learned.
Thank you for being such an understanding dad with lots of tools, patients and knowledge to share. I can now fix almost anything, I have disassembled and put back together everything from lawnmowers to jumbo jets, I can design and build furniture, toys, tools, science fair projects and more and all because my dad gave me the confidence to build from my dreams.
This is just a very small part of what you gave to me dad, because it was through your faith in God and you’re never ending support and love that have always given me the tools to enjoy and love life with all its beauty and to be the father that I have become.
This is really sweet. You touched my heart. I can tell your dad was an important person in your life.
Make sure you capitalize Dad when substituting it for a name. On the internet, it's easier to read if you have double spaces between paragraphs.
Something you will hear over and over is Show don't tell. For example you told us in this sentence:Let me just say that my dad is far more than any words could ever describe.
Change it by showing how Dad impacted you. Spark! Zap! The electricity buzzed through my fingers as I explored an old TV. Dad scooped me up in his arms and wiped my tears with his ragged, red, plaid shirt sleeve.
I know I'm improvising but I wanted to show you what I meant by show not tell. You want to paint a picture for the reader.
You have done a great start at developing the characters. I want to learn more about the MC and Dad. You'll develop your characters and make them come alive by doing more showing.
You seem to have a natural gift. The words flow effortlessly and I can feel your passion. Keep writing!