We have many choices to make in our lives
By Dan Langerock
Our lives have many setbacks and choices have to be made to accommodate them. We can lose a mate or a dear friend, and then we must choose to go on or remain isolated. We just don't feel like going on when these bad things happen, and we certainly don't want to make choices, yet we choose by not choosing.
Choose to love rather than hate.
Choose to smile rather than frown.
Choose to build rather than destroy.
Choose to persevere rather than quit.
Choose to praise rather than gossip.
Choose to heal rather than wound.
Choose to give rather than take.
Choose to act rather than delay.
Choose to forgive rather than curse.
Choose to pray rather than despair.
Life is so hard when we no longer have that special person to share it with any longer. It feels like someone has punched us in the stomach and taken all the wind out of us, like a becalmed ship on the sea. But we have to get up, go about our duties, interact with others or we will become more and more isolated.
There are others like you who have lost someone special. They, too, are lonely, perhaps depressed, not wanting to go on. That is the reason for support groups like Loss of Spouse and Hospice, to help you readjust and have someone with a common ground of grief to talk with.
You can also be a help to others in your circle of friends and family to give them comfort by being a good example of strength for them someday, when they need it for themselves. They will see how you work through your grieving and it will give them hope and a model to follow. People don't always let us know they are watching our lives, but they do. You can think of yourself as a trailblazer. A pioneer would go into unfamiliar territory and scout out the best places to live, where the water was, etc. Then others who came behind could have what they needed on their long journey.
Grief is an unknown territory for many people. It is a hard aspect of life to go through and not something you would wish on someone else to experience. However, we all must travel that road of grief, and how we accomplish and navigate it will help determine what the rest of our lives will be like afterward. There are many new skills to learn: how to fix what breaks, laundry, cooking, and the list goes on and on. It can be overwhelming.
Search out individuals and groups that will help you, those who will listen and love you through the turmoil you are experiencing right now. They are there for that purpose and free for the most part. Don't be ashamed to cry if you feel like it, that is a natural part of the process. If you did not cry, wouldn't you say there was something amiss? You loved that person very much, and now they are gone, but life can go on if you will let it. You can never replace that person exactly, but you can find those who will listen and help as you journey the road of grief.
God is also there for you to access. He will never leave or forsake you when you put your trust in Him. He loves you so much, and He will guide and comfort you in your new life. You can talk to him 24/7, and he will never send you a bill for services rendered.