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Blessing With Lameness
by Daniel Owino Ogweno
11/30/11
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“Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”
(Genesis 32:28)


LORD, my God, at this time when things are overwhelmingly tough, this is my prayer:

Tomorrow looks so bleak, Lord help me live today—one day at a time, even moment-by-moment will be better because the day itself can be such a long time to survive. Help me not to worry about tomorrow.

Lord, my God, Jesus was here. You sent Him to come and reveal Who You Are. He indeed did that—He revealed You as a Father. He did this in a way that demanded a paradigm shift. Before this revelation was ignited in my heart, I thought that Jacob had set a precedent: God must be 'wrestled' if one wants His blessings. Jacob wrestled with You for a blessing and won. But did he? He got his blessing at a price—he became lame. Did he really have to wrestle? Do we really have to wrestle with You?

Before I embraced the paradigm shift—God is a Father, and He knows what I need even before I know it myself, and even when I know what I need, He knows about it even before I tell Him about it—I indeed wrestled. In the process of wrestling, I even contended with lingering paradoxes and flashes of thoughts, screaming: "God Did Not Fulfil His Word". What amazes me is that, unlike Jacob who won against You, I kept on losing, or haven't I? It has taken me long to learn what You were teaching me.

It is painful to lose, but after appreciating You as a Father, please let me not win agaisnt You. Whenever I stand my ground to wrestle You, please don't let me win. I may not like that my blessings come with lameness. When You win against me, ultimately I'd be the one who would win BIG. This is because one thing is certain: You have my interest at heart.

Yes, a son can persit, asking his father for a favour, but Father let me know if I am no longer persisting but insisting.

Your Word tells me that I don't even need a big faith to get mountains moving; that a faith as small as a mustard seed is enough to do the job.

If I have faith that according to my estimation is 'enough' to move a mountain, yet the mountain refuses to move, what could that mean? Could it mean that You have given me the strength and grace to climb it?

Open my understanding so that even with faith accompanied by profusion and confession of Your Word, I would still let You be God; You'll still exercise Your infinite options.

Help me have a glimpse of the Divine perspective so that I may have "Unconditional Faith" as Your servant Sonya calls it.

May I not use my faith as a weapon to box You in a corner, thinking that my faith can deplete Your options. Your options are infinite—exercise them in accordance to Your divine wisdom and discretion.

Meanwhile, since I am infinite and may not understand all Your ways, let me mourn and groan, but I know, at Your appointed time, You will comform me, Your child and servant.

Yours, Faithfully, in Jesus Name,
Your servant and child,
Daniel Ogweno.
***************

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