Spam-I-am; that Spam-I-am;
I do not like that Spam-I-am!
Would you like my latest spam?
I would not like it, Spam-I-am;
I do not want your latest spam!
Would you like it here with me?
Or should we try it out at sea?
I would not like it, Spam-I-am;
I do not want your latest spam!
Would you like it in a park?
Or is it better in the dark?
Or on a bus, or on a train -
To build the power of your brain?
And…
If being wealthy is your itch,
My latest spam could make you rich!
Spam-I-am,
Why don’t you scram?
I do not want your latest spam!
I’ll ask you not to bother me
Here or sailing out at sea.
I do not want spam in a park;
I do not want spam in the dark;
Nor on a bus; nor on a train.
It’s not for us – Can I be plain?
I don’t want spam to make me rich;
I’d much prefer life in a ditch!
I do not want it, Spam-I-am;
You viral IT battering-ram!
You do not want new spam you say?
Try it; try it; and you may …
Just one click will do the trick!
A little click – it’s oh so quick!
I do not want your latest toy.
Please find another to annoy.
Spam-I-am, please go away,
I do not know what else to say.
All other side-tracks I’ve forsook;
Please, just let me write my book!
A book? A book?
Why, let me look!
My spam can help you with research;
It would not leave you in the lurch.
My latest spam can open doors
To data that is not now yours.
All up to date – just click your mouse –
Completely free - so use your nous!
All up to date? Just click my mouse?
It’s not for me! You leave my house!
Why not be friends? I’m all a-quiver
At all the stuff I can deliver!
If we were friends, your fun might double,
But I’m sure I’d end up in trouble!
I do not want your latest spam,
I might get trapped in some new scam!
So please believe my indignation;
I just don’t want your information!
Let’s color your imagination:
Give spam your close “Eggs-Ham”-ination!
Inside your inbox you will find
Sad Fox in Socks – he’s so maligned!
And you’ll discover it’s a cinch
To meet my kind old friend the Grinch!
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish;
I’ll provide whatever you wish!
I’ll never be a spam apologist
Or ever be a child psychologist -
Your Cats in Hats
Pull habits from rats!
It’s not my scene;
That’s what I mean!
Together we could Run the Zoo -
Helping Horton Hear his Who!
And I’d ensure that every Sneetch
Stayed well and truly out of reach!
I have Hunches in Bunches
About future lost lunches.
Spam-I-am; you’ll have to stop.
Don’t Hop on Pop on my laptop!
Have no doubt. As a straight-shooter,
I want you out of my computer!
For any now who still peruse
My message now may not amuse.
Before my train of thought I lose
I have to break some awful news...
My banter ends. They must excuse me
(In case an irate Doctor Seuss me!)
Read more articles by Noel Mitaxa or search for articles on the same topic or others.
Congratulations! This has been chosen to be highlighted on the Message Boards in the Cheering Section. You can see it by clicking here: FaithWriters Jewel Chest
Well fancy that! You turning up here of all places and with a poem too!
It's very clever and I'm inclined to agree with the others that your humour and Noelogisms are well suited to poetry.
So there you are - go for it!
Your outstanding talent and ability to keep the reader enthralled is consistent with all of your entries!
This one was truly perfect in all aspects, well written, funny, and you definitely made Dr. Seuss smile in Heaven. Fantastic job!
This would have been a winner in the Spam Entry -too bad it didn't make it.
Congrats and keep on entertaining us with your phenomenal talent.
God Bless~
Your Repetititititive Persistence is completely captivating! [Beginning with that repetitititive title! LOL!] You stayed true to the Suess form in this excellent poem. Your meter is perfect. I loved your nod to all the familiar Suess titles. You would make Dr. Suess proud (if he decides not to be a grinch and sue you first… as mentioned in your delightful ending.) :) My final comment... you need to write MORE poetry! :)
