I know I'm only human and shouldn't beat myself up, but in moments of clarity I get so irked with myself for indulging in my worries and fears instead of trusting God. (Important note: the *Israelites were just as stupid which is why they spent 40 years wandering instead of just 11 days walking those few miles, but that's beside the point...)
Worry and fear are both a waste of time and emotion because God ALWAYS comes through. The precious few times where He didn't 'answer my prayer' meant I wasn't supposed to get my way (At the time you couldn't have told me differently, however, because as a spoiled brat I can be VERY insistent). Over the years I've come across self-proclaimed psychics, church prophets, odd coincidences, and monogrammed notebooks that have all screamed the same message: Faith. Sometimes I've listened. Most times I don't. (I'm extremely stubborn!) But overall I would say that my unnecessary reticence has made me an emotional prune and had I just chilled out, I might have even gotten better results. It can be very hard to practice faith in the midst of a violent storm or while standing on the edge of a precipice with no parachute....but I HAVE to keep reminding myself that God will ultimately keep me dry and catch my fall.
As Romans 8:28 reminds me, "All things work together for those that love God."
I really really need to learn to keep my eyes on the prize and stop looking down. God has the ability to view my life through the 360 degree lens of eternity....while I have the limited bird's eye-view of not even a few seconds in front of me. So while walking through this confusing fog called life, it makes more sense to trust the loving and forgiving Creator that I claim to believe in, rather than my own fears of destruction. Plus I'd rather not be the idiot that drowns in 2 feet of water because in my panic I failed to stand up (or in my case, look up or pray up).
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW
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