Jeremiah 31:15 This is what the LORD says: A Voice heard in Ramah, mourning and great weeping, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because her children are no more."
"Well, you have everything any one women could desire! So, why are you crying?"
She was beautiful, even though, the prime of life had passed by..
Christmas Morning had also passed and it was late afternoon, in the lull. After presents, after lunch, after company and after the zenith of another Christmas.
"I miss my mother. yes, I do. But I miss those I have not known; even more."
"Huh? Those not known? Getting religious are you?" She glared at him.
He habitually mocked her child like innocence. He truly meant no harm and this was one of the reasons he loved her so much; her fervor for life, and the fact there were no dull moments with his bride of 30 years plus two."
"Something you will never understand my dear husband,... my best friend."
He looks. And tenderly, questions her mental stability with no great concern; "tell me."
"Alright...I want to tell you."
She pauses taking a breath.
"Last night I dreamed, and in my dream I met them. Sam and David. They came. And Sam read poetry he had written for me. All love letters with great forgiveness, he gave, me.
And then, David, he sang Sam's love songs, like a dove.
The words were Sam's written poetry,... just for me."
He looked at her as to say... "Who are Sam and David?"
"Well, this is the hard part to explain,"
And through Rachel's tears she said,
"I'm risking being called delusional,"
(Pause) "You see," said she.
"Sam, would be about 36 and David about 34."
"Would be?" Tenderly he said.
"Yes," (sobbing) ...
"It was 36 years ago I... aborted David..."
And, Sam 36 years, ago."
Rachel continued crying for children who are no more.
"My Dear, are you okay?" Such mercy he offered.
"Oh yes, my Love..." (sobs sobs joyful tears)
"It was ten years ago when I had my first dream of them and that's how I know they are Sam and David, my children. It was on a Christmas Eve, I had a dream. I knew someone, something was missing from my family. I knew that we were here, complete in our immediate roll call, but, I deeply knew, we were not. I had feelings of loss and missing of something. So, I went and laid my head down on the soft pillow. There, alone, I fell asleep. I dreamed, and they came in my dream. Two young men, and I asked,
"who are you?" (Pause and breath)
"One was dark curly headed and quite an introvert and very poetic, deep, thoughtful and so kind. He sat in the rocking chair of his Great Grand Father's, he never met, and while gently rocking ministered such love to me.
Then David, who looked nothing like Sam was blond with straighter hair, brown eyes that laughed as he smiled and entertained me with his humor. He was comedic and so much fun. He too was kind.
Again, I asked who are you?"
They both smiled and said, "we are the ones you miss, and we came to cheer you and let your Christmas be full as it is supposed to be."
"Oh my!...Immediately, I knew like a bolt of lightening. Right in my heart,
You are the two children I aborted? And you are, Sam and David?"
"They nodded, "yes" and with precious care came to minster God's love to me."
"Then, grief over came me as I knew what I had done and realized I took their joy from our lives. I was wondering if they were there to torment me for my sin or punish me in some way."
"They said, "Ma Ma, it is all okay, we did not come to make you sad, but we came to fulfill your longing for us. We knew you missed us terribly and before now, you weren't ready, as you had no longing for us, but now, we too, know you do love us. We know now, you would have made a different choice in favor for us, but it took time, and God gave us time, and you too, Ma Ma, you too. He gave you time, sweet mother."
"Oh, MY GOD! I fell to my knees,
Oh my Dears, Oh my children had I have known, had I have realized, I never would have allowed this terrible act, please, forgive me...please......."
I wept as Rachel who could not be comforted for her children who are no more."
"So my Dear husband, this Christmas is different, I have lost my dear mother,
but I do know who greeted her at the gates of Heaven...
My Sam and my David...
I do miss my Dearly departed mother
and my two sons,
I will never know here on Earth...
because I made two horrible mistakes."
"And, even though, I am pardoned, I robbed myself and them, of possibilities, we will never experience...This my Dear husband is why I'm sad.."
Tears mixed with laughter, joyous and yet; sad.
"This my husband, this my friend, is why Christmas has never been, a time for our family completed unless I honor them."
by Bonnie Gay Jennings on Sunday, October 2, 2011 at 1:05pm
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