Get on your knees, bear the thorn in your side, and wipe your mascara =)
Well, I must say that there has been a lot going on in my own crazy woman/motherhood and apparently I am not the only woman feeling that way here lately.
Its time to wipe our eyes and who cares if you see my mascara smudged across my face; I am real, life is real, and it is something that sucks us all up every day, in some ways great, in other ways not.
I thought about some of the things that have been going on in my own life recently and when I logged in to my blog this morning a sweet friend of mine's blog post is still in my feed from where I had followed their posts about their son in the Birmingham unit. He passed away about 4 months ago maybe and he was barely a year; it still brings tears to my eyes when I see their latest post about getting his room ready for him to come home-- talk about God not being fair? I do not know another couple who loves and shares how much they love the Lord as much as they do. They are humble, they are meek, they are on their knees and they are not afraid to show that to anyone..
I wish that I, that a lot of my friends, could be more like that. Granted, I say what I feel and what I believe a lot and I could care less what my next door neighbor thinks and I have a couple of friends that are like that. I admire them for that, I admire them for just saying "you know what.. I'm just not feeling it today, here's whats up with me.." But a lot of my friends that I know get caught up in the validation of other friends, society, they forget that they are "just human", that they should be able to vent, say how they feel, put it out there without being judged, for us women is it a self esteem thing? A control thing? Are we afraid to be vulnerable with other women who might be going through a similar situation? A lot of it, yes. We weave a circle of social acceptance every day and some of us don't even know how big of a web we have spun. What does that reflect on our children? Ladies we bear a lot of the weight of the world and however you get to your womanhood or motherhood is a total blessing and we should be able to lean on each other for love and support, but we should also be able to hold up our panties, down what our close friends have to say with a cup of tea, and keep on going!
I am guilty of this and I am not ashamed to admit it, hello?! God loves me just the same and I know when I need to slap myself in the face and be a better woman, wife, and mother ;O) and God will surely send someone in to my life to be that slap for me! Ha! Perfect example-- I wanted to get caught up in all this "crafty craftsmanness" going on everywhere you look, I mean I'm about to go out and by myself a sewing machine... so I can widdle up a 1st birthday outfit when???? Oh right, somewhere in between working, taking care of my family, keeping a home, and growing another baby.... oh and plastering my child's face to 30 water bottles?! Lisa wake up.... you don't have time for that right now and I'm pretty sure Meadow isn't going to have a complex if she can't wear a pillowcase dress?? She will be wanting a sequin ball gown by the time she's 2?! :) My girlfriend said all this to me over the phone one morning and I about peed my pants laughing so hard.. Don't get me wrong.. I am not knocking my friends who do all this, I think it is great and they are some sweet sweet and very talented ladies and I am so happy that they can do all this for their children and what a blessing they make the time to do it, but Lisa can't, and she doesn't need to feel bad that she can't - is the point I'm making. Cheers to you supermoms!! and cheers to you ladies who do good to go to work, come home, keep your house cleaned, your husband loved, and a yummy meal cooked for your family :O)
We ebb and flow in all our daily circumstances, some of them can lift us up and a lot of them can tear us down, and we've got to stop drowning in what and who tears us down. You do not have to be a part of that anymore and it doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a real and honest person who is in touch with your own self values, goals, and beliefs. A lot of our attitude, hurt, encouragement, lack of will to succeed, we allow to come from the people around us-- mistake #1. You don't need validation from anyone- you have been BLESSED with accreditation of Jesus Christ!! Surround yourself with people who are going to uplift you, who are going to push you down the path you were meant to go, married couples- surround yourself with other married couples who will uplift you in your own relationship.. not who are going to sit around and have husband/wife bashing sessions. You will always find someone who is more than willing to drown right there with you, but trust me, you don't want that, it may seem like a good solution for the here and now, but you need to look at the big picture, where will this take you three, five, ten years from now?? "If you keep doing what you're doing, you're going to keep getting what you've always got"
You are responsible for your own life and your own actions so man up, or should I say, woman up! Ha! If something is not working for you, or for the best interest of your family, you need to find the courage to change it. If it involves a family member that is causing distress, turmoil, hurt and frustration for you, your child, or even for you and your husband, you may request to change that. You do not have to suffer under someone else's inability to change or to respect the life you lead and the decisions you have made for your own family. There is no power on this earth that will all of a sudden be bestowed apon you to change another human being- only God can do that (and believe me when I say I have been down this road 5, 234 times and I keep thinking I am the miracle worker, stop playin Lisa, you are a career worker.. Ha! Ha!) Let God do that changing for you!! It's easier said than done, but you've got to start somewhere! I've had to do this in my own life- I have a husband who I adore and love, I have a baby girl who I want to see grow under the umbrella of a God so great that no man will pluck her from His hand, and I have a baby on the way. And maybe God knew that I would be strong enough to handle a small child, demands of a huge family, and the energy for another baby because I love Him so much and I try to seek His will for OUR life, not everyone else's life. I have had to learn how to do some major, but gentle, toe stepping when I need to and maybe this little baby in my belly has helped to light a fire under my own feet? And don't worry about if you want to get angry with God, go ahead!!! Throw a few punches, He wants you to talk to Him, even if you have to yell at Him! I have been here too, sobbing, crying, yelling like a crazy lady, but you know what: He never leaves me and He always answers me in His time. I mean, is this like our relationships with our earthly fathers or what?? Man, they can drive us up the wall sometimes, but we still love Him, we always come back to Him, and we always continue to seek His advice- He truly is a Heavenly Father, I don't know how else to explain it in words.
I have a couple of girlfriends who are facing their own battles right now (including myself), and we can never truly say that we know exactly how one another feels because we have not been in that situation. I have a friend who is facing trying to get her 18 m old son back after a man who was once a part of her life took him from her, a couple other friends who are just facing different woman struggles with family, co-workers, and probably just some plain old idiots around them? Ha! But I can say this: do not give up in the Life that God has laid out for you. He created you to bear this cross no matter how big or small, He loves you just the same and He has promised you that He will never leave you, and whatever choices you make will reflect on the ones you love the most.
I have about 3,124 scriptures that I could post for this blog- If you want direct scripture on something from the blog you can post a comment and I will get that to you :O)
Keep the faith my sweet friends- He is never but a tear away <3