The other day my son and I got into an argument and I was very upset. It had been awhile since he made me cry. He apologized later, but the pain was still there. We had a shut in at my church that night for a few days, and once I got into the presence of Jesus, nothing mattered. The anger and the bitterness and hurt I felt just melted in prayer and union with my Lord and Savior.
A few days later my husband and I had words before church, and he had really hurt my feelings. We got dressed for church in silence. We rode to church in silence. We walked in the church in silence. I was on my knees at the altar in silence while he just prayed his little heart out. I was so angry that he could just pray like nothing was even wrong and there I was struggling. Later, once the Spirit really got to moving in the service and we could hear a young girl in the back praying through and just crying out to God while the preaching was going on, everything that I felt earlier didn't matter anymore. You could feel the presence of God so strong in the church. Once I lifted my hands to Him, I could feel myself surrendering all the bitterness and anger and hurt. It just melted away. Once again, nothing else mattered. All that mattered was Jesus and how I just wanted to please Him.
We aren't promised tomorrow or even the very next minute. As long as we keep this in mind and know our number could be up at any time, then we would be quicker to let things go. I'm not saying that we don't feel real pain, and things do happen that cause us to really be angry, but it's what we do with it. We have to keep going to God until we are able to release it. I kept saying, God help me to not hold onto this. I believe when we are real with Him and tell him how we feel and just talk to Him about it, then that gives Jesus a way to come in and do something about it.
Alot of times, I believe He just wants us to know that He's the only one that can feel the voids in our lives and there's not always going to be someone we can just pick up the phone and call. He wants us to call on Him. He's a jealous God.
My husband watched football all day one day, and decided to come sit and talk to me 30 minutes before I had to go to work. I didn't even want to talk to him when he did that. God began to show me on my way to work that that's how He feels. We do all this running around during the day, and put Him on the back burner, we may just say a short prayer here and there but we really don't spend that quality time with Him. That makes Him think we don't value the relationship as much as we say we do. I know that's how I felt. I felt like I was given what was left over at the end of the day.
I made a decision I would value my relationship with God more than anything or anyone else. I want God to know that I appreciate Him for who he is, not just what He can do for me. I want to just spend time with Him just because. Not wanting anything from Him but just to be in His presence and get to know Him more.
This past week has really made me put things into perspective. I guess you could sum it up like this, nothing else matters or is worth holding onto that could separate me from Jesus. All that matters is that He is pleased with me.
Stay encouraged out there and stay focused on Jesus.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW
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