I earned a C- yesterday in the mom department. I was emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausted from the weekend. I have not laughed, cried, or learned so much in a long time. On top of that, each night Gennie and I were up till 2am sifting through everything learned that day, and then up again by 7am to see how much more we could pack into our hearts and minds. By the time I crawled into my own bed at 12:30 am Monday morning, I felt as though I could sleep for 24 hours.
Unfortuantely the kids had a different agenda in mind. They were up and at it by 7am, curious to what the day had in store. I tried to do the juggling act of taking care of my responsiblities and meeting their needs of me. Color, unpack suitcase, play "fancy store", unload dishwasher, play pictionary , throw in a load of laundry. After a couple hours of this, and hearing them bicker, complain, and demand every time my attention wasn't on them, my nerves were on edge.
I anticipated at this point all of the love and grace God had lavished on me the weekend before would just naturally flow from me to them- but that was not the case.
I was snippy. Iritable. Frustrated. Then I would counter those feelings with guilt and sadness on why I couldn't be the "patient-full-of-love-and- grace-mom" that I long to be. I recalled a speaker from the conference that truly explimplified Christ. From the first word out of her mouth I was captivated. She was gentle, soft spoken, and oozed peace and compassion. If there are such things as angels-I was in the presence of one. On top of that she has like 10 kids that she homeschools on her farm! Seriously.
As I am watching myself be this mom I don't want to be, my mind instantly goes to this "super mom", certain she would never get this way with her kids. This game of comparison always leaves me coming up short and defeated.
Why do I so often go there?
As I dropped the kids at camp this morning, I drove home wondering when I pick them up in a couple hours, will I have what it takes in me to score a little higher today than yesterday.
I decided to pull up super mom's" blog, subconsciously hoping she could rub off a little on me. Today's post- "Why is it so hard to be patient?" In it she describes the moments when she is on edge with her children.
God is so good! Not that I delight in seeing another mom struggle, but I delight in His reminder to me that I can not compare myself to another.
We all struggle.
We all fall short.
We all need a savior.
He fills in the gaps when we are not enough.
He covers our shortcomings.
Now I see she's not "super mom". She's Ann. And she is not a saint. She is just a woman like the rest of us, trying to live a life that would glorify her Savior.
Seeing her for who she really is, I can now learn from what the Lord has taught her on patience. How we must Choose Grace, Take up our Cross, and be Willing to Suffer when life is not easy.
I encourage you to check out her blog too. www.aholyexperience.com. But I warn you- she's amazing and deep, and reflective. She bakes homemade peach pies and cooks potatoes and squash for her husband to enjoy when he comes in from work. So does that mean that my corndogs and applesauce lunch today is less impressive? To the One who's opinion really matters- NO. He loves us both the same, and we are equally great mothers on this same journey of molding and shaping our children.
Let's vow to keep this in check today. To stop the game of comparing and to cherish who we are in His sight.
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