As some Christians have painfully discovered,trying to survive in a capitalist society proves impossible for some churches,especially in times of economic distress, because they are forced to function just like retail stores.However occasionally the capitalist system does create a benefit that churches can use to their advantage.
Such an event occurred through research done by advertising companies in an effort to find a key word that sales representatives could use to close their deals with a higher success rate.(Only in America right?) After extensive testing on the unsuspecting public, it was actually discovered.In fact carefully controlled testing proved that when sales representatives use just this one word,their sales increased almost 50% .
Believe it or not,the magical word that the gurus on Madison Avenue have discovered to deliver all of us from our savings is "because".Look don't knock them,these are the same people who magically figured out how to drive almost all of us deeply into debt so they must be smart right? Not intelligent or ethical but definitely smart!
I assume there are some thinking types out there who are questioning how just one word can possibly increase sales by 50%.Well you're out of luck,the ad gurus didn't pay for that research so who really knows.Now don't just sit there trying to go through a Freud experience with yourself,just accept success when its handed to you!
So how can Christians finally benefit from instead of being taken advantage of by the best ad men a capitalist society has ever created?That's as simple as their magical discovery.From now on keep using the word "because" in your Christ-commissioned witnessing to non-believers.No more,"Have you found the Lord?" or "Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus?" That has now proven to be ineffective.
Here is the new scientifically proven approach:"I REALLY NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING EXCITING.I HAVE FOUND AMAZING NEW HAPPINESS IN MY LIFE BECAUSE I FINALLY FOUND THE SOURCE OF LIFE.IT HAPPENED BECAUSE I FINALLY HUMBLED MYSELF AND GAVE UP MY PRIDE.I'VE FOUND A BRAND NEW PEACE IN MY LIFE BECAUSE I FINALLY AFTER SO MANY YEARS FOUND JESUS.DO YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU DISCOVER WHAT I HAVE?"
Yes God finally does approve of the advertising geniuses on Madison Avenue,at least in this one specific application of their usually misguided and misappropriated talent!
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW
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