I love the message and overall was written well. The one thing I would say is to throw in some more punctuation. I did see where there could be commas. I didn't really have a problem reading it, it was real easy to follow, but some commas could be used. Other than that, the poem was flawless. The overall message was truthful and great, and the words you used were very good. Also, the pause/break and after it, it says "oh my" I really liked that touch of surprise and reaction within the poem. Very cool.