Living in the world is lonely and dissatisfying at times. To ponder on my purpose for the day can bring frustration and feelings of defeat. Not having all the answers to my existence and role in this world can truly get me down. Patience doesnít come easy. Waiting is not my gift. But waiting is necessary on this journey.
God is working everyday. He trains me through different circumstances. Maturity doesnít come in seconds, it comes through lessons. Consequences arenít pleasant but are essential in my learning. Without them, I may never truly repent. It may hurt for a little while, but later Iím blessed for the correction that protected me from further damage.
Tragedy teaches me to grieve. The death of a loved one, seeking forgiveness, or witnessing sin expels mourning. Heartbreak reminds me that God is in control. His mercy, compassion, grace, love, and peace comfort me. How can I empathize with the brokenhearted if Iím never broken? Experiencing His soothing hand across my heart is most gratifying. With tragedy comes my need for Him. And His touch is life changing.
People can be my biggest hurdle. Flexibility is essential in any relationship. But balancing the different personalities in life with my own can be a straight up challenge some days. The sensitivity I feel can both help and harm me. Living with a husband and two sons spins me into a mindset of never being understood. How could they? How can I expect them to? The impossible wish of being understood can make me sad. When communication gets misrepresented and shuttled off to a distorted place, I turn to the One who knows me better than I know me, God. And He appreciates my sensitivity because my sensitivity leads my heart to Him.
Not everything in life is hard, I have eyes for the beautiful gifts Iíve received too, but the mindset that I am not home until I get to heaven satisfies. God gives me His peace. And He carries me through the lessons I must learn to be all He has created me to be. After all, Iím here to be made like Christ. And though Iím surrounded by nothing I take to heaven, I have everything because I have Him.