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I am a Christian so why am I missing my loved one?
by C D Swanson 
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It seems to me that it should be logical and extremely obvious that when a loved one passes away, we miss them and we will grieve. Now, depending on the situation concerning the one who is deceased, there are various degrees of how the person will handle it; to be more explicit, what the person's relationship was to the deceased and the circumstances surrounding the death. By that I mean, was the person terminally ill and suffering and was the person a parent, spouse, or child. Grief is grief, however depending on circumstances, it can be devastatingly difficult to say a parent who lost their child to the hideous and monster disease, cancer; or lost a child in an accident and the person that killed your child was a drunk driver. Those can be debilitating to say the very least to the parents, and they will grieve in a way that no one can understand unless they "God forbid" experience it first hand. Whereas a loss of a parent is devastating, but it is what is expected in life that the parent will go before the child. It is the turn of events in life that is as natural as child birth, it is a descending order of a natural progression in our lifetime.

Now I dare say I am not undermining or saying that the person feeling the hurt from the loss of a parent doesn't sting and break their hearts in two. Rather, I am stating it is expected and not a shocking turn of events, although I lost my father 12 years ago on an operating table, and the doctor's sliced through his ventricle and killed him; I still miss him although I know he is with our Father in heaven. And, that shocking turn of events was like a death blow to my very organs, making me reel with shock to the point of nausea and physical ills. He died in an unexpected way, but we still knew that our earth father was to go before his children.

As Christians we believe Jesus is our Savior, and he is the Son of God and our redeemer; and He came to walk as flesh with man ultimately to be crucified for our salvation. He rose again, and was victorious over the enemy, and He loved us so much he suffered, was ridiculed, condemned for us. He was rejected so we might be accepted, he was persecuted, so we can be free. He is our Savior, and we know that when we believe and walk in the Spirit according to His ways, we will live forever in His Kingdom.
We will drink from His living water and never thirst again.

Which brings me to the "conflict" some Christians experience with a death of a loved one. I cannot tell you how many times in my career as a Social Worker/Counselor have I heard people feeling guilt over "crying and feeling sad" when their loved one passes. They state, "but in the bible it says, let the dead bury their dead and the living go on living, why am I so sad and am I going against God?"

The answer is yes for the scripture, and no for going against God. God made us with feelings and a heart to love, and He is aware of our needs and how very different each one of His children are, just like their DNA is different, so of course is our personalities. Our Father is a very compassionate and loving God, and He loves us, and knows we are hurting when we lose someone. Even though we know that person is in heaven, and dancing with Jesus, and in a new beautiful Spiritual body, without pain, tears, or suffering. We know that, but our hearts at the moment are in a flesh body, so we are reacting as a flesh person would...Our hearts are breaking, and we will cry and we will miss them, and we will always remember them. And, God wants us to go on living, with the living - but He also is a wise and brilliant God, He knows it will take time for the adjustment, and He will not condemn us for cyring or loving or missing our deceased loved one. And each person will grieve differently, and each will come to terms with it in his or her own way. And, God our Father, our Creator knows this; and He will be there every step of the way, providing comfort, and guidance and strength. "Blessed are they who mourn for they shall be comforted" and so they shall. Our Father's very words, all are promises to His children, and all are part of the convenant He made with His children.

As the rainbow comes out after the storm, we are reminded of our Father's convenant in Genesis, that the rainbow will be a symbol of His words and His very promise to His children. So, He will not forsake or leave you, especially in times of mourning.

Genesis 9:13 NKJV "I set my rainbow in the cloud, and it shall be for the sign of the covenant between Me and the earth."

Genesis 9:17 NKJV "This is the sign of the covenant which I have established between Me and all flesh that is on the earth."

In conclusion, please do not feel gulty, or frightened that you are going against God because you are mourning, or that you are feeling pain and your heart is breaking. That is all normal aspects of life, and the Father knows that; you will after the suffocating grief is gone, be rejoicing knowing that your loved one is in Heaven, a beautiful place filled with God's love and compasion, and you will smile knowing you will see your loved one again, one day.

Until that day, keep those treasures within your heart hold tight to them, and know that you were blessed to have that special someone in your life, no matter the duration, it was special and be thankful to our Lord for having been given the "treasure" of knowing and loving that person, and say a prayer of thanks as you look up and smile, knowing your loved one is happy, that should make you happy too. Amen~

Peace Blessings and God's love,

CD Swanson~

Micah 7:7 NKJV "I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me."

Micah 7:8 NKJV "When I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me."

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