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When God says NO
by Steven Wickstrom
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When God says No
by Steven P. Wickstrom

Have you ever prayed to God and had him answer you by saying "No?" Itís disappointing isn't it? Sometimes we don't even know how to deal with that answer, especially when it concerns the life of a loved one. I've noticed that when God gives me a "No" answer, he usually does not explain why he answered in that way. That tends to make it even more difficult for me to accept. God seems to expect me to accept the answer and move on. The trouble is that I often don't want to accept that answer and I don't want to move on until I get an answer. Perhaps you respond the same that I do. Let me tell you a true story.

I was on a Coast Guard Cutter in the Bering Sea in the middle of February and the weather had been terrible for weeks. The relentless storms had driven the waves to around twenty-five feet in height and the snow was coming down horizontally. Being on a ship in twenty-five foot seas can be absolutely uncomfortable. It was so cold that the salt water sea spray was freezing into ice sheets as it covered the ship. Every morning we had to go out and the beat the ice off the ship that had accumulated during the night. We didn't want the ship to become top heavy due to the ice because a top heavy ship will tip over and sink. It was King Crab season and we were watching over the crab fleet like a shepherd watches his sheep.

The ice flow had flowed south of the Artic Circle and was now pushing its way into the crab grounds. The harsh weather was taking its toll on the crab fleet. The men on a typical crab boat work twenty-hours a day releasing and pulling up their crab pots. They also had to beat the ice off their boats and that took time away from catching crabs. Since crab season that year only lasted about four weeks, time was money. One of the boats, the "Crab Getter" (I chose not to use the boats actual name) had been neglecting the ice buildup on its mast and superstructure and was becoming top heavy. No one realized there was a problem until it was too late.

We received a Mayday call when another vessel realized the "Crab Getter" had vanished. We were only about twenty miles away but the twenty-foot seas and driving winds reduced our maximum speed. We launched our helicopter (quite a trick in twenty-foot seas) to look for survivors because it would take us about fifty minutes to traverse those twenty miles. I knew that the odds of those men surviving were slim to non-existent, so I interceded for their lives. A human can only survive for about five minutes in freezing water so these men needed God to intervene if they were to survive.

Almost as soon as I started praying, God answered. He said "No." I was stunned. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. God knew that those men were still alive, in a desperate but losing battle to keep from freezing to death. Why wouldn't God want to save these men? Why wouldn't he want to receive the glory for such a miraculous intervention? I didn't understand. I argued with God, I pleaded with him, but he ignored me. A few minutes later he informed me that they were all dead.

I wept for the widows who did not yet know that their husbands were not coming home. I wept for the children who no longer had a daddy. I wept for the families that were no longer complete. I sensed that God also wept, but I still didn't understand.

When we got on-scene, we found the "Crab Getter" had completely overturned and all that was visible was the bottom of its hull. We searched the debris for bodies and found only one. Of the five-man crew, only one would go home to be buried. I stood outside in the driving snow and watched the "Crab Getter" sink beneath the waves. For a Coast Guardsman, nothing is more depressing than watching a doomed vessel sink. It makes us feel like we've failed at our job. With tears freezing to my cheeks, I went back inside to warmth of my ship.

I had questions, lots of questions. Why did God say no? Why does God not explain himself when he says no? Is it because I donít need to know the answer? Is it because He is God and I am not and He doesnít have to explain anything to me? Is it because His reasons and purposes are part of a plan that I cannot comprehend?

Sometimes I really don't think I want the answers to those questions. I'm not sure if I'm spiritually mature enough to deal with the answers to those questions. We've all had well meaning Christians without a clue, pat us on the back and give us a "Christianese" answer that didn't help. I know they mean well, but I'd rather not have their help or their advice. They don't know the answers either. If you've ever lost a loved one, or someone close to you, you know what I mean.

Did you know that God answered one of Jesusí prayers by saying no? In the garden of Gethsemane, with the cross looming over him, Jesus asked if the cup could be taken away from him. He even asked twice! He knew that Godís answer was no, so he submitted to the will of God. Submitting to the will of God is not always easy for me, in fact sometimes it is downright difficult. Knowing that Jesus could go on after his prayer was answered with a "no," gives me some comfort. My salvation is a result of Godís saying no, and Jesus submitting to the will of God and going to the cross.

Ultimately I know that God is completely in control. Why did God allow those five men on the "Crab Getter" to die? I donít know. I probably won't have an answer until I get to heaven. At that time it will all make sense. Does that make it any easier? No, not really. I simply choose to lean into the arms of my heavenly Father and trust his decisions and judgments. Since I know that God is in control, I must allow him to be in control of my life. I may not like it when he says no to me, but I must trust him.

I have only been able to come up with one answer for what to do when God says no. It comes in understanding this; everything God does, he does to make us more dependent upon him. When God says no to you, pray that he will use the situation to bring you closer him. This answer may or may not work for you. I pray that it does, but if it doesn't, I hope youíre one step closer to an answer. God always reserves the right to say no to our prayers. What we do with that answer will either draw us closer to God, or push us away. May we always use the "Noís" to pull us closer to God.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Ellen DuBois 31 Oct 2002
Your approach to God answering our prayers with a 'No' is so wonderful. You've taken what often tests people's faith, including my own, and brought it full circle. There is a reason for everything, and often we don't know what it is. I loved your message of asking for the situation to pull you closer to God. This article did a lot for me- and I thank you for sharing it. God Bless, Ellen
Carole McDonnell 16 Oct 2002
Great article, Steve! I remember the ime God told me "no." It concerned something every other Christian was saying yes to. I went ahead and did what all my brothers and sisters in Christ wanted. I have suffered 20 years for that. But God is merciful. And even when we disobey, he can bless the disobedient as he blessed Adam and Eve with a savior after they disobeyed his NO. -Carole
june wietecki 13 Oct 2002
What a beautiful article. It is always hard to accept Gods 'no', especially when it involves a persons life. Thank you for being there to pray for them in their last minutes.
Jay Cookingham 10 Oct 2002
Steve, Quite a story...reminds me that His ways are higher than mine. - Jay Cookingham


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