Mothers are able to multi-task, it's that plain and simple. Once you become a mother you just suddenly know how to juggle a breast feeding baby, a phone attached to the ear, and making breakfast for the hubby before he runs out the door. Let's not forget running the laundry, feeding the pets, nursing yet again, and running errands in between before picking up the other children. We make the appointments with our pediatricians, lunches without so much as thinking about it, and we are always there when a friend or two needs a shoulder and an ear. Let's face it, we mothers are in fact wonder women.
I don't say all of this braggingly, trust me I don't. I say this with complete and utter exhaustion! I love my children, all four of them, but they have sucked 18 years of iron, calcium, energy, beauty and anything else that is within me. I am at the point where burnout and depression meet but I keep going.
Where do many of us get the energy? Is it the love that we feel for our children enough fuel to keep us in gear? Is our fear for their safety enough to keep us awake as they stay out late with their friends? Is it the maternal instinct that wakes us to the slightest cough in the middle of the night? What is it that keeps us going when in reality all we want to do is collapse into that bed, or run down the street without looking back. There were times all I wanted to do was get in the car and drive down to the beach and watch the sunset. Does this sound terrible?
I often sit and ponder where I get the energy, that is until I look in the mirror. I see the lines in my forehead. The highest wrinkle appeared just after our son got hit by a car. The dark circle under my eyes stare back at me. They got darker every time one of our children woke up from a nightmare and I got out of bed to console them. I see the grey in my hair I no longer dye...each grey has a different memory all it's own in how it came to be. I stare into the mirror, deep into my eyes and I smile. Yes, it is our love, our fear, our maternal instincts that keep us going as well as keeping us from running away. We have everything we need by the Grace of God and no matter how many wrinkles, dark circles, and grey hairs we moms receive, we keep going because that is the magic and wonder of being a mom; and I wouldn't want to be anything less.
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