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Untitled Lament III
by Erin Dijkema
05/14/11
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Am I too weak to grab hold,
Or too scared to let go?
The frustrations multiply,
As progress doesn't show
My heart doesn't feel like it can go on
Am I too weak to grab hold
Or too scared to let go?
Why not let go of everything
That is holding me back?
Will normal ever be the same?
Will I recognize my heart and soul,
Its desires and pains; and leaps for joy?
Am I too weak to grab hold,
Or too scared to let go?
I reach for the plausible,
For the contentedness
All seem to have achieved
For Your secure loving embrace
Safety and joy are too far out of reach.



In the middle of the night voices crept into my head
Anger, Vanquish, Fear, Doubt
My head it cried in pain as voices rushed in and out like the wind
Fear, Doubt, Vanquish, Anger
Lord God Jesus! Save me once again from my weakness!
Vanquish, Fear, Doubt, Anger
Struggling deep down, unable to climb back up to You
Anger, Fear, Doubt, Vanquish
Clay walls ensure a slippery weak grasp for Your hand
Doubt, Anger, Vanquish, Fear
I try, continually, struggling to find out why,
Why I
Doubt;
Why I am full of
Anger;
Why do I
Fear, when all I need is you.
I feel nothing but vanquished by circumstance.
But I cry out, cry out for peace and a stable unity with you
I cry out for a safe embrace, to banish my fears of death,
Begging for my wonder and awe at the possibilities of this world,
Instead of shuddering at and preventing the future with You.
The voices, the voices of weakness and destruction flee,
Oh, they will return as they have before, I am not enough on my own.
My need for You is eternal and I am reminded of that daily, truly
I was a fool to avoid Your love. Come, come; save me minute by minute.


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