CHOOSING A LIFE PARTNER
by ezekiel olukolajo
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CHOOSING A LIFE PARTNER -PART 1
"You will make heaven or hell on earth by the person you decide to marry" (Ravi Zacarias). As a single, one of the major decisions you will make in life is the decision on who to marry. Choosing someone you are going to spend the rest of your life with is not something you can afford to handle with levity because that singular decision has the ability to affect your life and destiny in the most significant way. Choosing a life partner as a single requires a lot of preparations. In fact, the most essential aspect of the choosing process is that of preparation.
Your preparation towards choosing a life partner should begin as early as possible. As a child of God, the preparation essentially begins with prayers. One important way you can lay solid foundation and secure Godís guidance throughout the whole process of choosing your life partner is praying. When you pray you are simply demonstrating your dependence on God to guide and to oversee the affairs of your life. One common mistake most people make is that they do not take the aspect of praying seriously but often rely on their own head knowledge to take them through the process, this is responsible for most confusions experienced by many at the time of decision making. It is equally important that you start praying as early as possible, well ahead of the time actual choice of who to marry is to be made. You canít be too early to pray but you can be too late to pray! Thereís no better way to trust your future into the hands of the Almighty God than praying.
Another vital aspect of the preparations required in choosing your marriage partner is working on yourself. It is laughable that most singles desire to marry the right partners while they themselves pay little or no attention to making themselves the right partners! What makes a successful marriage is not about finding the right person, but being the right person yourself! Before you begin to think about marriage, it is absolutely necessary that you take time to work on your person: your character, temperament, emotions and dispositions. Truth is, if you failed to work on yourself to become a better person before you go into marriage, you are bound to experience a lot of frictions and crises in your marriage. You cannot afford to approach marriage as Ďcrudeí as you are if you really want to have joy and excitement in the relationship. Working on yourself is therefore a deliberate and definite decision you must make, it does not just happen. As a child of God, you are expected to expose your life to the transforming power of Godís word and develop a very deep relationship with God until your life begins to reflect Christís image and character. If you place priority on working on your person to make yourself a better man or woman, you are not only paving way for a blissful marriage relationship, you are equally preparing yourself as a bride of Christ.
It is also important to emphasize that before you begin to think seriously about marriage or choosing a life partner, it is expected that you set a solid platform and foundation for your life. These basic foundations include education or vocational training as the case may be. Part of your personal preparations for a glorious future is to acquire education or sound vocational training up to an appreciable level that will earn you a living. A clear vision and direction will drive you to pursue all that is required in form of requisite academic, professional qualifications or vocational trainings which are capable of delivering it to you. Marriage comes with great responsibilities and it is not for those who have no focus or clear direction on what they want to do in life. It does not matter how old you are, if you have no definite vision and direction for your life, you have no business thinking about marriage. Many marriages and homes are frustrated and backward today because of lack of vision on the part of the partners who entered into marriage relationship without having prepared themselves for the future and its demands. Thereís time for everything! As an individual, your first responsibility is to prepare for your future before you consider choosing a life partner.
Marriage is a lifetime affair and it requires serious attention. For you as a child of God, the whole process of choosing a life partner must begin and end with God. Although in this age, many believe and teach that God has no business leading a person on whom to marry; their conclusion is that once you see someone you love, you can go ahead to begin a relationship. This is nothing but deceits and lies of the devil to rob many of their Godís given purpose on earth. If you are truly a child of God, you will never take any decision without first securing the comfort that God approves that decision or choice. As a believer, seeking to know the mind of God, is not restricted to marriage only, thereís no substitute for Godís leading and direction in every aspect of a believerís life, be it career, ministry, calling etc.
May 2011 (C) copyright
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Beautiful exposition! We need to hear these truths more often to enable us avoid the many pitfalls of marriage. Thanks, Ezekiel, for sharing.