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A Shell of A Person Was I
by Melinda Gonzalez
05/10/04
Not For Sale
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A shell of a person was I
Absolutely nothing worth living for inside
My inner core was my selfish pride
Never letting another human soul nearby
Everything was mine
Yet it was only through my eyes
A shell of a person was I

Ambigious definitions of right and wrong
I accepted everything
I knew nothing
The wind blew me into my beliefs
It tossed me into a bed of thorns and weeds
I conformed - complacent with what I thought was peace
A shell of a person was I

Surmising love as just a cliche
Part of a subjective three letter phrase
Apaty was a common way
I dealt with life and all its strife
Independence was my forte
No friends needed
They would just get in the way
I could run the race of life
It was faster alone anyway
A shell of a person was I

Something was wrong
Something was missing
Disillusioned by my hopeless case
I turned to my soul for an antidote
Only to discover there was nothing to relieve
My ailing heart, it was diseased
Discovering my entire inner-being was empty
Realizing I had no beleifs
And no one was within an inch of me
I finally had to see
A shell of a person was me

I was ok running away from reality
Until the day I fell into a puddle of grief
I used all my strength to try and get up
but it just wasn't enough
I wanted to trust someone would come
But everyone was so far away
My misery soon turned to shame
And then I saw a light coming my way

A spark of hope
As His sweet voice spoke
Get up my lonely shell of a creature
Open your soul
Trust in me
Radiate with empathy
And a shell of a person
Shall you no longer be

I thank God I quickly agreed

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...in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them... 2 Cor 5:19

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