As I reflect back over the moments of my life from time to time. I remember those really dark times, when I felt like no one could understand the pain I felt or the emptiness in my heart.
I felt extreme loneliness and even deserted by God. It isn’t until I can look back that I realize I was never alone. Never deserted. It was my fears, anger and pride that kept me from seeing the power and support of God in my life.
It is so easy to be a Christian when everything is going well with life. It is the hard times that we need God the most, yet instead of seeking him first, we always try to fix it our self.
The bad part is, there is always someone watching to see the child of God fall on his or her face. When a Christian is going through some hard times, it seems the world is standing by to say, “See your God has let you down!” The truth is God hasn’t left; he has just stepped back to allow us to learn from the experience.
Acts 17: 26-27 tells us that we are created of God and He determined the times set for them and where they should live. God did this so men would seek him, and reach out for him even though he is not far from each one of us. He is there to help us if we would just reach out to him.
The hardest lesson for God’s people to grasp is that God can handle anything. My husband says I’m a worrier. Well here it is in print, HE IS RIGHT!
I worry about money, where the kids are, the noise in the car. If something can affect a moment in my life, I worry about it.
Did you understand what I said there? I worried a problem to death, but I did not pray it! I evaluated my worry list. A good example; the car needs new tires, our budget won’t allow for even one tire, let alone four. So now I worry twice as hard because this is a thing I decided God shouldn’t have to take care of. Little things like tires. There has to be a way I can work this problem out my self, right? WRONG!
The first thing I should have done is prayed. I still might have to “work” this out myself, but God would have directed me where to go. Instead I worry and Satan revels in another victory. I can just see God shaking his head in dismay at my shallow faith, as he moans here I am, I can create heaven and earth, but I can’t direct a life. Will she never learn?
It seems we save prayer for the things we think of as the “really big stuff.” I pray a lot and I hadn’t thought much about it until one day my words came back to bite me. I have always told my husband that God is looking after us. I guess it wasn’t until his illness, that he found the truth in that statement. His illness gave him great opportunity to observe others, me especially!
My habit of worrying really was evident during this time because we had no income except my part time job. The bills were turning into mountains, and I was still worrying about my husband’s health.
Now these were just a few of the big things. I prayed and I prayed and then I couldn’t hear God because of the noise of the worrying I was doing. I went to God with Satan at my side. Through my worrying, Satan had a grip on me. He used my worries to invade my life with anxiety, fear, dread, and lack of rest. All of which made the problems grow bigger in proportion.
When the body is filled with all these things, we can’t think straight. Our body gets physically sick, adding more problems to the ones we are already worried about, making things much worse. Then without realizing it we are so wrapped up in our own feeling, we begin to drift away from God.
It doesn’t happen overnight, but Satan knows us as well as does God. Satan uses our weaknesses against us at every chance.
One morning I was doing the Bill shuffle and my husband could see the worry and anxiety building in me, he said, “remember, you always said God would take care of us.” Those words bit me hard, because I was trying to take care of us and had left God out of it until the last moment. You know until I felt I just couldn’t handle things anymore. Then and only then did I ask for his help?
I want you to know God did give his help. It didn’t come however until I reached that point of failure, where I realized I couldn’t fix the problems myself.
On the way to work my husbands words kept echoing in my mind. I switched the car radio on to drown out the thoughts, but an evangelist was talking about the very thing afflicting me-worry.
I listened and contemplated his words and then tuned him out. After all he was only repeating the very thing my husband had reminded me of earlier, and I just didn’t want to hear it!
Then from somewhere I heard the words “Aren’t you ever going to learn to do the walking and just let me take care of the rest?”
I had to stop the car because I had to look at the ways I have been dealing with things. As always it wasn’t working. I was convicted and was found guilty of playing God and attempting to design my own life. The very same life I have given to God to handle.
I realized that I hadn’t given myself completely to God. I only gave him what I felt I couldn’t handle myself. This was unacceptable to God. He wants all of us. If we keep any part of our life to our self, we are only inviting Satan to have a party with us. Satan will garden that area and make it grow until it blocks out our vision of God.
God hasn’t deserted us. He left us a handbook, the Bible. Every experience had by mankind is talked about in the Bible.
The 6th chapter of Matthew in verses 25-33 Jesus is talking about worry.
Jesus said, “Therefore I tell you, don’t worry bout your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
Are you not much more valuable than they?
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow, is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you? O you of little faith?
So do not worry, saying ‘what shall we eat?’ or ‘what shall we drink?’ Or what shall we wear’ for the pagans run after all of these things and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
This passage is also repeated in Luke 12:22-31.
I don’t think it gets any clearer for us. If we seek God in all things, God will take care of the needs in our life. He is our provider! He will supply our needs not our desires.
Can you hear God’s answers over the shouts of your desires? He is always answering prayer, but are we listening and accepting his answers or stubbornly holding out for our desire?