I am blessed because I confidently place my trust in Him
Jeremiah 17:7 says, “But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him" (New International Version).
I've talked about trusting Jesus a little bit before, but I want to explore the topic of trust some more. I want to show you through some of the experiences I have had with Jesus that He is always there, right here, right now. In one of my earlier articles I've said that it may be hard for some to trust anyone, especially someone you can't see or, possibly, even hear. But trust is something that has to be developed. You can't just walk up to someone you don't know and say that you immediately trust them.
In every relationship we have ever had (except for our family members), we have had to earn the trust of the other partner in that relationship. When you first started dating the person who became your spouse, you started out slowly, as you found out about each other's lives, families, and past. After a while, you began to see that your partner was trustworthy by how you were treated by them in your alone time, and how they treated you around others. Let's face it, if your partner acted differently in each case, you would probably begin to question their real feelings about you, and whether you could trust anything they said to you after that.
And what about those family members: when you were very young, you had no choice but to trust them since everything you needed came from their hands. But, what about later on in life; what if you had been sexually abused like I had been and you entered into your adult life wondering why you didn't trust anybody? I grew up not trusting men, and shied away from any kind of relationship with them. Even today, I do not have a relationship with my father (who was not my abuser) because of the distance I had put between myself and other men. Unfortunately, I also do not have any deep relationships with any men, because I don't know how to have one and, quite frankly, sad to say, I don't really want one. I don't feel comfortable about having a friendship with a man, even though I have spoken to a lot of men about my abused past.
And then Jesus entered into my life (Read my article "My Life In Christ" for the details). At this point in my life, right before Jesus saved me, I was in control of not being in control. I had thought that my life was the way it was because that's just the way it was. My life was out of control, but I was in full control of the things I felt I could control. Or so I had thought. Even after the first four failed suicide attempts, I still felt in control enough to try for a fifth time. But Jesus wouldn't let me die much to my frustration. But the night I gave up and gave Him my life, Jesus put me on a journey of grace, mercy, and love.
Time after time, Jesus has shown me by His actions that He could be trusted with every aspect of my life. First, He showed me that I am worthy of being loved, especially by Him. On those lonely nights, after I separated from my first wife, Jesus was there to hold me, literally hold me. I was sitting on my couch crying like a baby when I asked Jesus to hold me. Suddenly, it felt as if I was being lifted onto someone's lap, and two arms held me tight as I lay back against His chest and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. The warmth and love that came through His body was extraordinary. It was at that moment that I knew, I just knew, that I could trust Jesus with my entire life, and He has never let me down since.
Because of my supreme confidence in Jesus' ability to run my life, I have seen Him do some incredible things in it. I have had a lot of jobs since being saved, due to layoffs and other reasons. Every time I have needed a job, I found one quickly, knowing that Jesus had a hand in opening up the position and placing me there at just the right time to obtain the job. Many times, when I have needed money, things always seemed to work out in just the right way that the money I needed was there either by others blessing me with it, or a tax check coming at just the right time, to even getting short-term social security benefits that I had no idea I was able to get. When my wife's car was totaled, the money to buy a new car was suddenly there in the form of a tax check that came way earlier than we would have ever expected (two weeks compared to the usual eight weeks, something that had never happened to me before or since).
When I've needed emotional healing, Jesus has always been there with a word of comfort. I have been bi-polar since I was a kid which was not diagnosed until two years ago. Knowing that I have the illness, along with the abuse in my life, has explained a lot about why and how I did a lot of things in my life, from relationships to suicide attempts. Finding out was a relief, but was also one of the most difficult times in my life for me to understand and to come to grips with. I read all the books I could on the illness which, again, explained my entire life. But I also started watching my moods very closely to the point that I became obsessed about whether I was manic or depressed. For two years I drove myself, and my wife, crazy. I wanted to understand this illness so much that put all I had into trying to understand me. But, thankfully, I have a Savior who is not surprised or discouraged by how I was acting. He understood the illness better than me and had a way for me to get it under control.
Last August (2010), I was looking on the internet for information about bipolar, yet again. I saw some books I hadn't seen before. Two of those books were by actor Patty Duke, someone whose sitcom I had watched when I was a young adult. I was going to keep looking through the book list, but the Spirit told me to go back and research the two Patty Duke books. They were older books so I went to my local library and checked both books out to read. Little did I know that Patty's struggles would help me understand and survive having bi-polar syndrome. In one of the books Patty was told by one of her psychiatrists an amazing thing, something she could have never thought of on her own. The statement was simple: he told her, "You are not Bi-polar, you have Bi-polar. You are not the illness, you just have the illness." These simple words spoke volumes to me, along with Romans 12:12: Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer (New International Version).
Since then, I have been living a much more peaceful life. My relationship with my wife is greatly improved. And, along with many other situations, my trust in Jesus is secure. I am living a blessed life thanks to the One who loves me more than any other. He has given me the hope to carry on in this life, reaching all those who want to know Him better.
Do you want to get to know Him better? Then give everything you have to Him. He wants it all, He really, really does. Even in the midst of your deepest struggles, Jesus will walk you through them all, holding your hand, and, yes, even sitting you on His lap of comfort and love, until you feel that you can walk upright again into the glorious future He has for you to live. Remember the words of David, "Even when I walk through the dark valley of death, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me" (Psalm 23:4 / New Living Translation).
Let Him be your guide and you will never be lost again.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW
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