Proverbs 24:3 "Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established:"
For many years while rearing our daughters, I was consumed with the first part of this verse - through wisdom is a house builded. I wanted God's wisdom to rear my girls so that they would turn out for good and for God. I listened intently to preaching and teaching on biblical childrearing principles. My wife and I read books on child rearing. We studied the scriptures ourselves for childrearing principles, and we discussed them together often.
God blessed, and as the girls grew they seemed also to grow stronger in their faith and in their love for God and their love and respect for us. They of course were not perfect and had their struggles, but we found a way to get through them together. We rejoiced in every victory, but we also tried to study and evaluate the reason for the victory. Always we understood that ultimately it was the grace, mercy and patience of God with all of us, but we also began to see a common thread running through each situation and its final outcome. It was the relationship that we had together and the ability to communicate with our girls through every situation. Yes, without a doubt my wife is greatly responsible for the success of our children. She always kept a line of communication open to our girls. Many a night was spent with JoBeth and 6 girls all on one bed talking late into the night. I came home many nights to find them all asleep on the bed at midnight or 1or 2 in the morning always wondering who was talking when the last one fell asleep.
You see what I came to realize was that the remainder of that verse is as important as the first. Wisdom builds, but that word "build" means really to lay the right foundation, to use the right materials, to have the right plans and to yield to the right builder. But through understanding is the house established or made to last, to stand. Understanding when it comes to relationships I like to define as communication with discretion. Right principles are essential, but the ability and willingness to communicate those principles to your children will make them last as a part of their whole life.