I often thought to myself what it was about me that God would spare my life time after time. Since, I haven't been the model type; I had done my share of back sliding. I always was consumed with some sort of problem or situation. Which brings me to the question? Why am I still here?
Then it hits me like huge tracker that bears off the road and smashes into a brick wall. God has a wonderful plan for me. His precious hands have kept me safe and away from deaths door multiple times. He has always made sure whenever I was out on the town, not really in my right mind that I arrived home safely even when I could’ve remember how I got there.
I still had several demons that had me bound which consisted of substances abuse, impulsive behaviors, and depression, verbal and physical abuse. I believed God would intervene on my behalf; I just had to wait; knowing that God works in his time not mine.
While I traveled on lives journey, his plan had just come to me in the form of "Lock Down" Yes, I ended in jail. I had never been in jail so it was quite an eye opening experience for me. Then, I realized I had just been set up by God himself.
While in jail, I cried all the time everyday and night. I would pray that someone would come to bond me out. I had not received mail, money or phone calls from any of my family or friends. I was stuck in a place I did no want to be.
One day, one of the young ladies in my dorm had received some bad news concerning her niece. She had missing for over a week and there had been some murders in the area where she lived. Her small town was known for picking peaches; not murder.
She started crying as she hung up the phone from talking to her sister; I went over to her without any reservation, not knowing that it was God leading me. I asked her if I could pray for her niece safe return home. I am a born again Christian, but I must admit that I had done more bad than good lately. Yet, I knew what God can and will do. The best way to reach him is through prayer.
I announced it to the other inmates to see if they would like to join us. I was shocked at the many that gathered in a mini circle all holding hands, as I, who had never publicly prayed out loud much less for anyone in such a setting. I felt uneasy at first; but something was tugging on the inside of me which let me further know it was the right thing to do.
As I began praying, the words just started flowing from my mouth. It was like someone else was speaking through me, it was God himself, and I was his chosen vessel sent to give a word of hope and encouragement to a seemly bad situation.
The prayer touched so many that tears began flowing from their eyes. This response showed me then that I was not in jail by accident; I was there for a purpose. It was an assignment sent by God just for me.
I really did not understand it all at that time but what I did know was that in spite of my own issues I had to just look right past them to help someone else. Their problem was far greater than mine.
The prayer sessions continued nightly just before lights out. I still had no family or friend support for the thirty days I was in jail, but that did not hinder or stop what God had already put in motion.
My breakthrough did come, but not until all thirty inmates gathered in front of our beds in a circle praying for their situations and thanking God in spite of where they were or what they had done.
For that short time every night, we were all on one accord and that was to thank God in spite of. Many of inmates came to me after prayer was over to say "thank you”, or "Girl, you sure can put a prayer down" Those word was both soothing and helpful to my mind and spirit.
There was a phrase I started every prayer session off with and it was “When there are two or more gathered in my name; he am present. (Matthew 18:20). I felt his presence and I truly believed that the other young women did in their own way.
Most of them could not complete a sentence without a curse word or talk all day about the drugs that were missing or the man in their lives. But for the moment we spent together in that circle, everybody has one thing their mind.
After that happen, I was "BLESSED" by a probation officer that came to visit me; giving me back my freedom. I had completed God's plan.
Through it all, I believe that when we turn from our present situations not concentrating so much on us but doing what we can do to help others God will surely be working on our behalf.