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BARRIERS OR BRIDGES TO EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT IN MARRIAGE
by John Clark 
02/04/11
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Solid marriages are built on emotional attachment or intimacy. These elements may take a life time to build, but failure to work at these will, by default, lead to barriers instead of bridges. Even "Christian" marriages may not succeed if there is no emotional attachment. Consider the following barriers and bridges:

BARRIERS TO EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT

1. Bitterness.
2. Unrealistic expectations.
3. Old fights.
4. New issues.
5. Being demanding.
6. Selfishness.
7. Not listening.
8. Not being "there" for someone.
9. Being overly critical.
10. Living in the emotional past.
11. Unforgiveness.
12. Being controlling.
13. Lies and deception.
14. Giving unwanted advice.
15. Taking over in a situation, implying the
person is not capable of handling it.

BRIDGES TO EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT

1. Listening without interrupting.
2. Respecting the other's opinion.
3. Not "butting" into a situation unless
asked to do so.
4. Letting someone's feelings overrule your
own desires.
5. Hugging.
6. Getting constructively angry about
something that is adversely effecting the
other person.
7. Not wanting to say or do something that
would wound your spouse.
8. Knowing what your spouse feels strongly
about.
9. Affirmation.
10. Extending God's grace to your spouse.
11. Not being critical of what the other
person likes to do.
12. Being forebearing: being patient and
gentle concerning the other person's
weaknesses in body and spirit.
13. Giving gifts for no particular reason.





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